Examining the Conundrum:
Dean
Cathy Young says:
If there is a solution to this conundrum, it is greater flexibility of gender roles in the home. But to move in that direction, we need to get past the notion that the only obstacle to equality in parenting and homemaking comes from sexist men clinging to patriarchal privilege. Women are just as likely to regard child-rearing as their turf and to regard the freedom to choose between various options of work-family balance as a female privilege. Yet few feminists have confronted the hard truth of this female version of sexism. What's more, all too often, feminism—academic feminism in particular—has been inclined to treat men as "the enemy" rather than potential equal partners. Until that changes, feminists are doomed to wring their hands over young women's abandonment of equality.
What conundrum? She examines it here.
I personally think these people have focused so much on one group, they've forgotten that groups are made of (for better or worse) capable decision-making individuals with their own life goals.