Dean's World

Here's a link to a story about Conservative cartoons (hat tip Instapundit), "Laughing at the Left". The article goes beyond cartoons and makes some important points about the ideological divide. Take for instance this quote:

(Chris "Day By Day") Muir’s girlfriend, the primary model for one of his characters, “is a total liberal.” As it happens, the same holds true for Mallard (Fillmore) creator (Bruce) Tinsley, whose wife is a civil rights lawyer. There’s perhaps a lesson here. “It’s a funny thing,” Tinsley says. “All her liberal friends are incredulous that our marriage works, but none of my conservative friends have any trouble with it at all. They understand you can think differently about things and still be civil to one another.”

One of my favorite quotes about civility comes from President Gerald Ford "We can disagree without being disagreeable." It's a value to live by - most of the time. I'm a firm believer that it only works when your opponent holds the same value: when he doesn't you must roll up your sleeves and open up a can of Ann Coulter on their ass. That said, I too live in a "Matlin - Carville" marriage.

Part of it could be the old adage that "opposites attract" - or in New Age speak "my yang yearns for her yin" (hmm... that doesn't read right). When we met 15 years ago she loved the Grateful Dead while I held them in complete Hardcore Punk contempt (and still do. If I ever end up in Guantanamo I expect I'll hear "Wake Of the Flood" and "American Beauty" until I cracked - which I reckon would take all of 15 minutes). When Jerry Garcia died my first response was "How did they notice?"

There are serious benefits to a Liberal/Conservative marriage. First and foremost it keeps both of us from the extremes. If she comes home with some barking moonbat piece of tripe, I can usually shoot it down before she has wasted too much time on it or worse, come to believe it herself. Likewise I can sound an idea or an opinion off her and get her candid take on it before going public with it - thereby applying a level of rigor to what might otherwise have been a stupid idea or opinion. Secondly we can intellectually spar with one another, thereby keeping our ideas fresh and perhaps even (gasp) changing them. Finally, when we're together we can handle issues and situations using our different perspectives. Because of her liberal nature she can be much more open with salesmen than I can be. If the salesman takes advanatage of her openness, I can step in and bitch-slap him into submission without any regard for his feelings or the validity of his opinions. Needless to say the "Good cop - Bad cop" routine comes in quite handy when dealing with disputes with retailers and service providers.

Then there's parenting. Here the roles flip: I'm as free with money for The Kid as the Carter Administration was with taxpayer money for welfare moms. The Wife, on the other hand, is the motherly personification of the Graham-Rudman Act. Ever had to justify buying a $3 pack of Yu-gi-oh cards for a kid that already has hundreds? I have. With a Daddy Decision The Kid always knows there is the Mommy Court of Appeals - and she is all too happy to exercise her judicial perogative and overturn my decisions. Mommy establishes precedent and there is a strong stare decisis in The House. Daddy, being the liberal parent he is, has no sense of the importance of precedent so often finds himself overruled.

There is a definite positive dynamic in our family that is based on our differences and it works for us. I am sure all relationships don't have to be of the "Matlin - Carville" type to be successful, but the article points out some interesting reasons why such relationships are more stable than you might expect. It also makes some important points about humor - but I'll have to leave that for another time.