I used to read Harlequin Historicals. I was 12 and 13 at the time. They were bodice rippers. Nothing in them anywhere near the truth.
I remember one about a woman during the War of the Roses...or some midaevil war...that loved her enemy and he thought he was gay until he found out she was a woman...very interesting read, let me tell you. I remember reading one about Lousiana and a woman that didn't want to get married but was forced to. That one was 'interesting' in a totally different way...marital rape. The wonkiest one I ever read was Daisy, about a Russian aritocratic 'princess' who's mother was a B-grade actress. She had a mentally retarted twin, and a half-brother than commited incest rape...not geared to my age group at all, but I read what I want not what says 'ages yada to yada'. Any wonder why I now read Stephen King? Child Roland to the Dark Tower came...
Ginnie and Steve!!!! It's probably 30 years since I was utterly engrossed in their tawdry lives. I read everyone of RR's boddice rippers late into the wee hours of the morn. Damned right you couldn't put them down.
For awhile there in the 90s, most publishers were producing books based on their size. The fatter the better, and to hell with the content. ;>)
A couple years ago I was asked to judge for an indie authors award. They gave me, I think, six books to judge in the historical category and not one was accurate! The biggest problem in those however, was mixing up modern sensibilities and sometimes even technology in these books. So we had a modern divorce/custody scenario set in 1850, and a 17th century castle inexplicably equipped with electric light.
To be sure, I've read my share of Rosemary Rogers and Kathleen Woodiwiss.
It's not well-known that Barbara Cartland, the prolific author of much-shorter books, was probably making use of an early word processor. Today that wouldn't fly, where she sometimes seemed to just drop in different names into the same story, but back then nobody noticed!
The male version would be the old "The Destroyer" series about Mack Bolan hunting down and killing Mafia bad guys. Or the one about Remo Williams the martial arts expert trained by an old Korean master who kills bad guys with just his hands. I read every one of those when I was in high school in the '70's.
The magnificent Florence King once wrote a "historical romance" titled The Barbarian Princess. Her hilarious account of the writing process (including, yes, editor's instructions on how much ravishment and what kind is allowable), together with a sample chapter, are in The Florence King Reader, which you all ought to own anyway, given that it's about the funniest book I've ever encountered.
Isn't that from When Sisterhood Was In Flower (also in the Reader)?
Yes, the scene of porn-writers' collective writers' (and, er, other things) blocks is a classic. I'd quote the whole thing from memory right here, if I didn't think it would mean cascades of nasty spam. Let's just say that it included the phrases "hair-fringed cloven oval" and "dry as a goddamn bone."
Dean, I have Confessions. I have all the King I've been able to get my hands on, right up to Stet, Damnit!, which is certainly the best title for a book by the edit-ed seeking revenge on the edit-ors that I've seen.
I don't remember anything in Confessions that quite matches the editor's memo in Sisterhood:
"1. To lessen readers' confusion, kindly avoid such figures of speech as Pandora's box, right up his or her alley, a lick and a promise, blowhard, prickly heat,, and the interrogatory Come again?"
"3. Flights of metaphorical prose are not desirable. The phrase her oleaginous Mountain of Venus only perplexes many of our readers. We were distressed recently to receive a letter that angrily asked: 'What's that statue doing up on a hill with butter all over it?' [Suggested substitution omitted]"
"11. Areola is the pink area around the nipple; aureola is a synonym for halo. Kindly learn the difference.
And lots more that I'd just as soon not put in comments ;-)
By the way, yes, the entirely different sort of novel I'm working on is almost done--now why hasn't some literary agent pounded on my mailbox to ask to see a synopsis and sample chapter yet?
So, what have you published previously, Bubbie? (Sorry... attended waaaaay to many panels of writers on how to get published. The process seems to be that you get your best work ripped off by some sleezy small publishing house, then you get the agent who hooks you up with someone like Tor or Harlequin.)
Speaking of your novel, Dean, how does one become important enough to get on the list for reading the galley sheets? I'd love to read a novel of yours...
I remember one about a woman during the War of the Roses...or some midaevil war...that loved her enemy and he thought he was gay until he found out she was a woman...very interesting read, let me tell you. I remember reading one about Lousiana and a woman that didn't want to get married but was forced to. That one was 'interesting' in a totally different way...marital rape. The wonkiest one I ever read was Daisy, about a Russian aritocratic 'princess' who's mother was a B-grade actress. She had a mentally retarted twin, and a half-brother than commited incest rape...not geared to my age group at all, but I read what I want not what says 'ages yada to yada'. Any wonder why I now read Stephen King? Child Roland to the Dark Tower came...
Thanks for the memory.
A couple years ago I was asked to judge for an indie authors award. They gave me, I think, six books to judge in the historical category and not one was accurate! The biggest problem in those however, was mixing up modern sensibilities and sometimes even technology in these books. So we had a modern divorce/custody scenario set in 1850, and a 17th century castle inexplicably equipped with electric light.
To be sure, I've read my share of Rosemary Rogers and Kathleen Woodiwiss.
It's not well-known that Barbara Cartland, the prolific author of much-shorter books, was probably making use of an early word processor. Today that wouldn't fly, where she sometimes seemed to just drop in different names into the same story, but back then nobody noticed!
Isn't that from When Sisterhood Was In Flower (also in the Reader)?
Yes, the scene of porn-writers' collective writers' (and, er, other things) blocks is a classic. I'd quote the whole thing from memory right here, if I didn't think it would mean cascades of nasty spam. Let's just say that it included the phrases "hair-fringed cloven oval" and "dry as a goddamn bone."
In Confessions of a Failed Southern Lady, which is an autobiographical memoir, she discusses it more directly and in somewhat more detail.
At least, I think she discusses it in that one. Maybe it was in another one of her memoirs.
You should definitely pick up Confessions of a Failed Southern Lady regardless, though.
I don't remember anything in Confessions that quite matches the editor's memo in Sisterhood:
"1. To lessen readers' confusion, kindly avoid such figures of speech as Pandora's box, right up his or her alley, a lick and a promise, blowhard, prickly heat,, and the interrogatory Come again?"
"3. Flights of metaphorical prose are not desirable. The phrase her oleaginous Mountain of Venus only perplexes many of our readers. We were distressed recently to receive a letter that angrily asked: 'What's that statue doing up on a hill with butter all over it?' [Suggested substitution omitted]"
"11. Areola is the pink area around the nipple; aureola is a synonym for halo. Kindly learn the difference.
And lots more that I'd just as soon not put in comments ;-)
I've even read the original, unedited, full novel length When Sisterhood Was In Flower.
So, what have you published previously, Bubbie? (Sorry... attended waaaaay to many panels of writers on how to get published. The process seems to be that you get your best work ripped off by some sleezy small publishing house, then you get the agent who hooks you up with someone like Tor or Harlequin.)
This may be the only novel I ever write. I'd be reluctant to toss it off to a trash house.