Dean's World

You may have heard that one of those "Right Wing Talk Radio" people, a man named Hugh Hewitt, is trying to raise money for the Spirit of America Blogger Challenge. Indeed, if you go to Hugh Hewitt's web page you'll find several links to a "Northern Alliance" group asking you to donate money in their names. You'll also find the highly deceptive, conservative-looking photo over there at the right. The man even claims to be from Minnesota!

Trickery! Trickery and lies, all of it!

Crack agents of the Fighting Fusileers for Freedom recently spotted Hugh Hewitt leaving his bungalow in the Haight-Ashbury district of San Francisco, and driving to his favorite store in.... Berkeley California. He went in and made a number of purchases as our crack agent (code-named "Pat") surreptitiously observed him while wearing tie-dyed camoflage to avoid detection. "Pat" could not believe what Hewitt was buying, and just what massive quantities of said merchandise it was. But how could we prove Hewitt's treachery? How?

Like closet hippies everywhere, Hewitt obviously pays little attention to financial niceties. After making his shameless purchase, Hewitt simply crumpled the credit card receipt and carelessly tossed it into a nearby recycling bin. Fusileer agent "Pat" surreptitiously removed said receipt as Hewitt (in an apparent mental fog) walked out the shop's door.

Because of Fusileer Pat's quick thinking, we are now able to bring you the shocking — shocking! — proof of Hewitt's perfidy:

That's right my friends. Hewitt is not from Minnesota. He is not a Republican. He is not even raising money for Spirit of America for any so-called "Northern Alliance." No my friends, as this indisputable photographic proof shows, Hugh Hewitt is using Spirit of America's credit card, paid for by your generous donations, to support a secret, closeted, "alternative lifestyle!"

Druid masks! Henna tattoos! Egyption Goddess Patchouli!! Enough to keep his flock of Deadhead-style followers entertained for weeks! And you paid for it, you poor, benighted fools who gave money to that so-called "Northern Alliance!"

Indeed, after leaving the Flower Power Shop, our field agents were able to tail Hewitt to his next stop. He was spotted entering a smoke-filled (you can guess what kind of smoke) coffee shop. Our agents confirm that he entered said coffee house, got up on a small stage, and began to play a guitar and (badly) sing "Blowin' In The Wind." We were able to get a photograph of it, and to label how Hewitt has profligately wasted your donations!

(Click to enlarge the above image. You may want to avert your children's eyes!)

That's right! The photographic evidence is indisputable! Hugh Hewitt is a hippy!!! And he's using your donations to forward his hippy agenda!

Well fear not, my friends. We here at the Fighting Fusileers for Freedom ain't no hippies. Well maybe some of us used to be, but we got better! Or at least we got not-worse! In any case, we pledge that all your donations made through the Fighting Fusileers for Freedom Spirit of America donation page will go to where they belong: our service men and women trying to help people in Iraq and Afghanistan!

Not only that, but unlike some other "Northern Alliance" members who shall not be named (such as James Lileks), we of the Fighting Fusileers pledge that when you give money to Spirit of America, we will not eat any kittens!

Have any of the other bloggers made an absolute, no-compromise pledge not to eat any kittens? We don't think so!

(Unlike some webloggers, Fighting Fusileers love kittens!)

If you want to help us defeat the dastdardly trickery of the "Northern Alliance," please click here to donate whatever you can. $5? $10? $50? Whatever works for you.

In all seriousness, if you're looking for a charity to support this year, and if you'd like to make "support the troops" more than words, this is a great way to do it.

Thanks for your time.