1) She was born in Dearborn, Michigan in 1968.

2) She speaks fluent one-way Polish; she understands it as well as a native, but has to go slowly and think carefully to speak it herself. She also speaks Russian, German and French with fair proficiency.

3) She collected Barbie dolls until she was in her late '20s, and only stopped because too many of them were accidentally destroyed by pets and children.

4) One of her all-time favorite books is With Fire & Sword by Henry K. Sienkiewicz.

5) One of her favorite poets is Czeslaw Milosz. She otherwise loves historical romance novels and murder mystery novels.

6) She likes Star Trek, so much so that she says she would take classes in Klingon if she had a chance.

7) Despite all that, she doesn't read Science Fiction books, to the frequent consternation of her husband.

8) She had a 4.0 GPA all the way through her Master's level courses in college, and intended to go to Med School.

9) She was advised not to go to med school because she was overweight and was told that she would not be accepted for that reason.

10) When asked what else she might like to do with her life, she said, "stay home and make babies."

11) She's a proud Catholic even though she doesn't go to mass very often.

12) She loves good vodka and menthol cigarettes.

13) She finally quit the cigarettes this year.

14) She loves both Ozzy Osbourne and Luciano Pavarotti.

15) She is an exhibitionist at heart and an ENTJ on Myers-Briggs personality inventory.

16) She maxed out her SAT scores in math, and used to tutor engineering students in calculus for beer money.

17) She has blue eyes, and naturally blonde hair that she nevertheless insists on bleaching.

18) She used to hate cats, but made a deal with her husband: he could get a couple of kittens if she could get a puppy.

19) She loves cats now.

20) She is allergic to cats, dogs, and ferrets, but likes having all of them as pets anyway.

21) On her first date with her future husband, he took her horseback riding for the first time in her life. Her family didn't believe her when she told them why she was walking funny the next day.

22) She had a sister who as murdered who she still misses.

23) She counts the summer she spent in Poland in her 20s as one of the most memorable and wonderful times in her life.

24) She got so sick at one point on that trip that her mother's hair literally started turning grey.

25) She has an I.Q. considerably higher than the average Mensa member.

26) Almost no one realizes how intelligent she actually is, because most of the time she acts like a ditz.

27) She swears like a muleskinner.

28) She's pro-life.

29) She considers herself a "feminist" if that means treating men and women fairly, but thinks a lot of women who call themselves feminists are idiots.

30) She once used the term "feminazi cunt" on Dean's World almost a year ago and still hasn't heard the end of it.

31) One of the reasons she chose to marry her future husband was because she liked his last name.

32) Her nickname in High School was "Count Chocula."

33) She was one of the only white kids in an all-black school growing up.

34) She was threatend many times, and beaten a couple of times, for being white and because of the history of slavery in this country.

35) Neither of her parents set foot in this country until the 1960s.

36) She volunteered for Bill Clinton's election campaign in 1992, but by 1996 she was so angry with him she campaigned for Bob Dole and tried hard to get everyone she knew to vote for Dole too.

37) She used to be so bad at English that she had to get her sister to write most of her papers for her in school.

38) She loves makeup, jewelry, and frilly girly things, but never wears skirts and only wears dresses on very rare occasions.

39) She's a fairly good ballroom dancer but thinks she isn't.

40) She generally finds dark-skinned, dark-haired men most attractive, but wound up marrying a pale and blond guy anyway.

41) She's crazy for Russsell Crowe, but thinks that Desi Arnaz may just have been the sexiest man of all time.

41) She likes porn more than her husband does.

42) She was champion sharpshooter in her ROTC group.

43) She was at one time considered something of a "fag hag" until her best gay friend died of AIDS.

44) Two of her three closest male friends from childhood died tragically and unexpectedly in the last few years.

45) She loves soap operas, but especially All My Children.

46) If she doesn't talk to her mother or her sister at least a few times a week she starts getting psychotic.

47) Her father died unexpectedly and prematurely just a couple of years ago. She still misses him badly.

48) Her grandfather was sent away to one of Stalin's concentration camps.

49) She has a fear of flying. She'll get on a plane, but she doesn't like it, especially on long flights.

50) When in the car, she prefers her husband to drive under practically all circumstances.

51) She's very funny, but can't tell jokes because she has no idea how to deliver a punchline.

52) Her sense of humor seems to have stopped developing at the age of 7. Thus, she still laughs uncontrollably at fart jokes and potty humor.

53) She laughs even more uncontrollably whenever she sees animals talking or singing on television.

54) She likes to wear hats.

55) She wears some form of musk or perfume 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

56) A few years ago, she made her husband promise to get her a boob job by the time she was 40.

57) "Uninhibited" would be an understatement.

58) She finds the idea of women in the priesthood revolting.

59) She hates to let her husband cook.

60) She loves watching American Idol.

61) She never gets tired of the "pull my finger" trick.

62) Her two favorite webloggers are Michael Demmons and Geoffrey @Dog Snot.

63) She can't wait to help Bush get re-elected.

64) She used to think gay marriage was a weird idea but is now a staunch advocate for it.

65) She once met Jack Kevorkian and told him she supported him.

66) She now thinks he's a creep.

67) Taj Mahal once flirted furiously with her, and actually sang "Big Legged Woman" to her on stage.

68) She wants to vacation some day in Ireland.

69) She brushes her teeth so often that her teeth are almost spotless. Indeed, a dental hygienist recently told her she'd never seen anyone at her age with so little tartar.

70) She played basketball in High School but gave it up when she realized that she was just too short at only 5'7".

71) She has bad knees anyway.

72) She had no interest in hockey until her brothers told her she probably wouldn't understand the game. Then she just read the sports page for a few weeks and became a Redwings fanatic.

73) She thinks football's a pretty dumb sport, though she does watch the Superbowl most years.

74) Despite the fact that she has had many Arab, including Palestinian, friends in her life, she has become a staunch supporter of Israel ever since the inception of the War On Terror.

75) She absolutely adores George W. Bush.

76) Her family had no idea until recently just how politically conservative her views are.

77) She loves everything about Christmas.

78) She absolutely despises being so much as a minute late for anything.

79) She hates almost all seafood except lobster and fried catfish.

80) She prefers her champagne Extra Dry if it's good champagne, Brut if it's cheap champagne.

81) Most people either like her or hate her when they first meet her, and this opinion almost never changes after the fact.

82) She loves all of Monty Python, but especially John Cleese.

83) She has an ice-chewing habit that she's still having trouble breaking, even though it aggravates her TMJ.

84) She met her husband through a personal ad on the Usenet.

85) She still likes cartoons.

86) Among painters, she prefers the Impressionists.

87) One of her favorite fantasies is to squash Tom Daschle like a bug.

88) She's still mad at John McCain for what she considers the ginned-up Bob Jones controversy.

89) She loves shoes.

90) She hates having anything explained to her.

91) She loves abusing liberals.

92) Apparentlly, they enjoy being abused by her, which she finds hilarious.

93) She never tastes anything whlle she's cooking it.

94) She and her friend Kim once baked a whole pan of hash brownies and served them at a Tupperware party without telling anyone what as in them. The hostess' refrigerator was completely cleaned out by the end of the party and no one was sure why.

95) Her favorite magazine used to be Cosmopolitan, but then became The National Review and then became The Weekly Standard.

96) She accepted her future husband's proposal only a few weeks after meeting him, and they're still together after over 8 years.

97) She once noticed a car stopped on the freeway, stopped herself, got out, and gave the slumped-over driver CPR until the paramedics arrived. They later told her he'd had a massive heart attack and she'd saved his life.

98) She finally got her own weblog after over a year of people telling her she should.

99) She's the mother of my child.

100) I love her.

Happy mother's day, sweetie.