Dean's World
 Defending the liberal tradition in history, science, and philosophy.

.:: Dean's World: Life In Hell ::.

April 11, 2004

Life In Hell

Help me. God. Please help me.

My wife's family is in the other room, and they're playing The Sound Of Music on DVD. I'm hiding in the office, with WXRT cranked up just trying to escape it, but it's still there in the distance.

Burns! It burns precious, it burns! We swears we'll worship Jesus just so long as we never has to hear or see that wretched musical again!

In fact, you know how much I hate that movie? Whenever I watch it, I root for the Nazis.

"The hills are alive with the sound of... MACHINE GUN FIRE I HOPE!"

I want to spray weed killer on the Edelweiss. I want The Lonely Goatherd to die of an STD. I want to Climb Every Mountain, clawing and scratching my way over them to escape the hideous racket of those awful, cloying, sticky-sweet songs. By the time we hit the Do Re Mi song, which is moderately catchy in a semi-tolerable way, I'm ready to claw my eyes out and stick knitting needles into my eardrums. But before the end, I want every one of those von Trapp brats sold into slavery in Stalin's camps after they escape the Nazis.

[shudder]

A blight upon the soul, that insipid, horrid movie.

Now, you want to know the funniest part?

I consider that by far the least annoying Rodgers and Hammerstein movie.

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Discuss This Article!

 

A thing of beauty is a joy forever, Dean. Happy Easter!

Posted by Mark D. Firestone on April 11, 2004 at 2:00 PM


You poor thing. A few months ago, Atsushi and I rented Hitchcock's not-terribly-good Torn Curtain, and when it was over, his only comment was, "Julie Andrews had quite a line in escaping from the Nazis, huh? Though at least she did it without singing this time."

Posted by Sean Kinsell on April 11, 2004 at 2:33 PM


We used to call it the "Sound of Mucus"

Posted by Mark Adams on April 11, 2004 at 2:41 PM


"The hills are alive ... and that's kind of frightening..."

Posted by red on April 11, 2004 at 2:52 PM


I would laugh, but as I write this, I must prepare to go visit the in-laws..of course, my parents are joining...and my son is inviiting his sister-in-law...and...and...and...

Crap, can I come watch Sound of Music with you??????

Posted by PJ on April 11, 2004 at 2:58 PM


ROTFLMMFAO!

I keep picturing the Sound of Music morphing into Schindler's List, midway ...

Posted by Bill from INDC on April 11, 2004 at 3:06 PM


Headphones.
Rammstein.
Volume at 11.
Good luck!

Posted by Toren on April 11, 2004 at 3:10 PM


D'oh, we're caught, by the krauts,
Ray, he got shot yesterdaaaay!
Me, a name I call myself,
Far, a long way to run awaaaaay!

So, looks like we're gonna dieee!
La, lalalalalaaaa!
Tea, mebbe we can give them teeaaa!
Which brings us back to ...

KABLAM!

Posted by Bill from INDC on April 11, 2004 at 3:17 PM


Alright man, you're hatin' on my Favoritest Movie Ever. Maybe you'd enjoy it more if you played the drinking game.

Posted by Erica on April 11, 2004 at 3:39 PM


Dean is a big smelly BASTARD!

Posted by Rosemary the Queen of All Evil on April 11, 2004 at 3:46 PM


Definition of Irony:

Dean asking G_d for help...

You're lucky he hasn't smote you yet.

Posted by Rosemary the Queen of All Evil on April 11, 2004 at 3:54 PM


Take 2 valiums and post in the morning.

At least they don't have it on loop - like my family does. Sound of Music to Grease back to Sound of Music. I Feel Your Pain!!!

Posted by Tammi on April 11, 2004 at 3:59 PM


I've heard it said that even Christopher Plummer hates "The Sound of Music", and isn't too happy that its the film he's best remembered for.

Posted by Bill McCabe on April 11, 2004 at 4:28 PM


I'll bet Dean hates Tiny Tim ("God Bless Everyone!"), too and would make Bob Cratchit work on Christmas - Bah! Humbug!

Posted by jane m on April 11, 2004 at 10:43 PM


Dean! I've been making the same "root for the Nazis" joke for years! Stick to your guns, man.

Posted by Ken Hall on April 12, 2004 at 12:56 PM


LMAO. It's confirmed: Dean is definitely not gay ;-)

Posted by shep on April 12, 2004 at 4:00 PM


My reason for liking it can only be understood by parents of more than 2 children.

My kids saw it when they were 6, 3, and 2. After, I could actually get 5-10 minutes of quiet by suggesting that they play being the Von Trapp family escaping from the Nazis. It worked! They tip-toed around for a while, until they got bored.

Posted by Linda on April 14, 2004 at 4:19 AM


 



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