John Kerry will cure asthma?!?

I'm voting for him now!

Have you tried that Sharper Image air purifier? It's really helped my allergies, and because there are no filters the cost is negligible after your initial investment.

Hey, and at only $350, it costs you a heck of a lot less than a Kerry presidency would (sorry, sorry, sorry... I couldn't help it.)

Where can I sign up for John Kerry? He's the guy we need as President.

If he could cure old age, I might have considered voting for him too.

But all Kerry's voting record would have accomplished, if enacted into law, would have been to bankrupt the US social security system and ruin Medicare as well.

Anyway, he ain't Moses, so he can't part the Red Sea by waving a stick at it. And he ain't Jesus, so he can't cure the halt, the lame, the sick and the blind, then get resurrected for good measure. And Viet Nam produced tens of thousands of brave lieutenants, just in time for Lyndon Johnson to lose them their war.

So what good is this guy, except to regurgitate a sort of warmed-over Camelot with another rich Massachusetts senator who tries to fake himself as a man of the people in shirtsleeves for the TV cameras but spends most of his time on his private estates, ski slopes and fancy yacht?

And in the end, Ameican asthmatics will still have trouble breathing.

Arnold Harris
Mount Horeb WI

Let me get this straight...he will roll back the Clean Air Act and then make sure the Clean Air Act is applied and enforced? Wow, that sure does sound like Kerry.

Maybe he will roll back the Bush tax cuts and buy everyone an IonicBreeze.

You had me there until the caffenine started to cut in.. Full marks, I'm on my guard for the rest of the day - and working on my blog!

If you look on eBay, by the way, you can often get refurbed Sharper Image air purifiers MUCH cheaper than what they want for them now.

new.

On backwards day, Kerry's Flop/Flips will still seem like the same old Kerry.

kraM,

You slay me!

With any luck you'll be choked in the night and never wake up. May your asthma only worsten with time.

"make sure Clean Air Act rules apply and are enforced in the agricultural industry"

But, how can one go on without the revitalizing scent of fresh cow manure?

With any luck you'll be choked in the night and never wake up. May your asthma only worsten with time.

All right, who left the door open? Assholes are coming in.

If Kerry could cure middle age, I might have considered voting for him too.

But all Kerry's voting record would have accomplished, if enacted into law, would have been to bankrupt the US social security system and take away my machine guns.

Anyway, he ain't Buddha, so he can't gain enlightenment by sitting under a tree. And he ain't Mithra, so he can't cut the bull. And Viet Nam produced tens of thousands of brave lieutenants, just in time for Lyndon Johnson to lose them their war.

So what good is this guy, except to regurgitate a sort of warmed-over Camelot? He can't cure middle age. Or old age. Or the eventual fate of each and every one of us, which is to end up dead as a cockroach and six feet underground. No mythical Mithra or tangled trimurti can change that. Thus has it ever been, and thus shall it always be. I've worked long and hard to become a cranky, crusty middle-aged guy, and I'll vent my cold, logical rationalism with just as much passionate intensity as I damn well please.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go down to the exercise center and work off the bear claw I had for breakfast. Then read an Ayn Rand novel before lunch. ;)

Paul Burgess
New Albin IA

Paul, have you lost your mind? Or have you just relocated to Mount Horeb WI?

Rosemary, HAIL TO THE QUEEN OF THE MAY! HAIL TO THE QUEEN OF APRIL FOOL'S DAY! HAIL TO THE QUEEN!

Paul:

I suspect Paul is engaging in some demented April Fool joke.

I'm just saying.

No, not me, I was busy again with the eels.

Rosemary & Dean:

Oops, sorry about that, it's a bitch when my multiple personalities get out of control. Gotta get back on my meds.

While we're on the subject, though, this might be the time to break the news to you: for the past year and a half, I've been posting on Dean's World under multiple split-personality pseudonyms, including "Paul Burgess," "Arnold Harris," "Steven Malcolm Anderson," "Ara Rubyan," "Tim the Soldier," and many others.

In real life, my name is Ron Schwartz. I'm a retired mail carrier in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, with a home computer, a vivid imagination, numerous multiple personalities, and way too much free time on my hands.

That's okay Ron.

I'm really a gay man named Sandy. Dean really is my husband though, in Canada.

When we go out Dean makes me dress in drag so we can "pass" in straight society. I hate it. Do you know how painful it is getting your chest and back waxed? I'm slavic, it's not pretty.

My asthma is induced by exercise and stress. Therefore, i want a less stressful world legislated, and nobody can make me angry, because then i can't breathe. I also want less exercise. We need to ban cross-country running, as it's bad for asthmatics and we can't breathe when we have to run. I've also been known to laugh so hard i couldn't breathe, making me stressful and giving me an asthma attack. So no more funny stuff, either. All those trees with pollen have to come down, too, for people whos allergies give them asthma problems.

Damn now i'm all worked up. Where's my inhaler. John Kerry, damn you.

Take me down to the infirmary~!

Mark J:

True, you can find them ob ebay cheaper; the question is, why are all those people selling them?? Because they work too good??

Paul, please bring back Tim the Soldier! Something is wrong because he hardly posts anymore and he does so much to add to Dean's World. That eel stuff is notin', he is in Texas and gives this World Class! Come back, Mr. Soldier!

This Irish Gal in Texas really misses you ( of course your Russian beauty too!)

You know Tim we had all the stars from the new Alamo Movie down here and I could have sworn that HOT LOOKING MAN IN UNIFORM was YOU TIM...

(pant, pant...)Miss ya!

Rosemary...light a cigarette!

Oh my gosh!!! I FOUND TIM!!! It was him at the Red Carpet Opening here! He was here and he posted yesterday...WHAT A SOLDIER!!!

Just finished masterbating (can I say that?) to the EIB network...sorry, I've been away for awhile. Anywhoo, Pat Robertson is guiding my conscience in this next election, although he's not conservative enough on opposing gay rights. Sorry, gotta go buy more ammo for the new assault rifle. Tootles.

Tim the Deserter
A ranch down in Texas

T
I
Masterbating.

T
H
Eels.

Sexy
Omnipresent
Lover
Dedicated
Illustrious
Exotic
Remedial

He was Here, he was and is THE...

Goodnight and sweet dreams. Rosemary, you cracked me up! I will vote for Kerry so you can breath easy now and sleep well breathing that glorious air!