Dean's World: Thinking About Pulling The Plug

March 10, 2004

Thinking About Pulling The Plug

I became disturbed recently as I looked through the comment traffic here on Dean's World. It has slowly begun to dawn on me, to my shock and horror, just what kind of lowlife tends to inhabit Dean's World.

To my dismay, I realize that our readership appears to consist primarily of alcoholics, Zionists, atheists, feminists, Indians, Baptists, objectivists, masculists, Cubans, Democrats, jews, italians, Republicans, poles, libertarians, blacks, irishmen, Canadians, and queers.

Not to mention the [shudder] Presbyterians.

I'm just warning you all now, if I discover any philatelists crawling around this place, it's game over man.

You've been warned.

Posted by dean | PermaLink | TrackBack (1)

Discuss This Article!

I think I count in at least six, possibly seven, depending on how you parse 'Zionist', of the above categories. I apologize for sullying your blog with my filthy presence.

Wait a minute...your audience seems remarkably.../diverse/! Are you practicing affirmative action behind our backs, Dean?

Posted by Oddly Normal on March 10, 2004 at 8:59 AM

Wow, all that and with you being against Affirmative Action to boot!

Posted by Rosemary the Queen of All Evil on March 10, 2004 at 9:01 AM

I'd advise all philatelists to give up their hobby right now. After all, it's well known that philately will get you nowhere.

THANK YOU! I'll be here all week; be sure to try the veal . . .

Posted by Mark Hasty on March 10, 2004 at 9:03 AM

Sorry. I'll stop commenting.

Posted by Geoffrey on March 10, 2004 at 9:05 AM

You sound like half a fag in that comment. Gotta go, time to beat my Russian Baptist wife.

Posted by Tim the Soldier on March 10, 2004 at 9:10 AM

As VRWC-evil as I am, even I have never been a philatelist. (That's Cheney's job. Shhhh!)

Posted by Dave on March 10, 2004 at 9:19 AM

ahem. cajun-redneck hybrids, too.

Posted by dave on March 10, 2004 at 9:27 AM

I'm an informal numismatist, myself.

Posted by McGehee on March 10, 2004 at 9:30 AM

Gasp!

Democrats??????????????

Posted by Ara Rubyan on March 10, 2004 at 9:33 AM

I see literate people..........

Posted by Mark Adams on March 10, 2004 at 9:38 AM

You didn't even mention the worst group out there: numismatists. ::shudder::

Posted by physics geek on March 10, 2004 at 9:38 AM

I've only been reading the blog for about a month and I have never commented. But since we are categorizing the readership.

I'm left handed. Have to claim that since I don't think I fall into any of the above categories.

Posted by Tamarin2087 on March 10, 2004 at 9:55 AM

Hey you forgot thugs or uh... progressive thugs!

Posted by S-Train on March 10, 2004 at 10:01 AM

ahem, Catholic

Posted by Ralph Stefan on March 10, 2004 at 10:02 AM

Friggin Cubans are everywhere....

Posted by Val Prieto on March 10, 2004 at 10:14 AM

Hackneyed semioticists. Let's not forget hackneyed semioticists.

Posted by Brett Fife on March 10, 2004 at 10:14 AM

That's right - stamp them out now.

Posted by J Bowen on March 10, 2004 at 10:53 AM

So a Canadian socialist protestant is somebody's threat? I'll tell Mom. What a giggle.

Posted by Alan on March 10, 2004 at 11:05 AM

What, no thesbians or sinologists?

Posted by Sgt. Mom on March 10, 2004 at 11:06 AM

Oh yes, when it comes to us Presbyterians, you should be afraid... you should be very afraid! Bwahahahaha!!!

In fact, not only am I Presbyterian— like Tamarin2087, I'm also left-handed. Southpaws of the world, unite! Smash dextrism now!

Enough of clumsy scissors made for right-handers! Enough of left-to-right writing, designed by evil dextrist oppressors to make us lefties smear the ink as we write! Enough of driving on the right-hand side of the road!

We will not rest until there are federal laws in place— constitutional amendments if need be— mandating that 50% of all roads in the US are designated as drive-on-the-left-hand-side, and that English henceforth be written in boustrephedon.

Posted by Paul Burgess on March 10, 2004 at 11:34 AM

And anyone who doesn't agree with me about that is an evil hatemonger!

Posted by Paul Burgess on March 10, 2004 at 11:36 AM

Hey, wait a minute - where are the Chinese? to paraphrase Apu:

There are 1 billion of us, you know!

Posted by Independent George on March 10, 2004 at 11:38 AM

You left out the left-handed conservative ex-Democrat Vietnam-era veterans descended from French immigrants.

You probably did it on purpose, you bigot.

Posted by Dave D. on March 10, 2004 at 12:20 PM

Watch out for those wily Methodists too!

Posted by Darmon Thornton on March 10, 2004 at 12:33 PM

What about we antidisestablishmentarians? And did I mention that I'm a parliamentarian, too?

Posted by Andrew on March 10, 2004 at 12:40 PM

And gamer chicks, you forgot gamers! those evil, D&D dice rollers that live in their parents basements! You know, the ones that live on Diet Mt Dew and Smart Ones frozen dinners.... (hey, a girl's gotta watch her figure, just because I am a gamer doesn't mean I hafta look like one)
*rolls dex check to dodge thrown rocks*

Posted by Kat on March 10, 2004 at 12:52 PM

Cool! There's more than 1 cajun-redneck hybrid in the mix!

Posted by Neal on March 10, 2004 at 12:54 PM

Hmm, I'd have to say that I'm a disestablishmentarian, or more circumspectly, given my nationality, an antiestablishmentarian.

While I'm no longer really a philatelist or a model railroader, I am a role-playing, miniatures, and (shock, horror) collectible card gamer.

Oh, and I find it curious that American (or United Statesian, if you prefer), wasn't on your list of perfidy. I'm one of those too.

Posted by Doug Sundseth on March 10, 2004 at 1:00 PM

REAL gamers don't drink Diet. And they eat Funyuns.

Posted by Sigivald on March 10, 2004 at 1:19 PM

Does anyone know where I can find a 1908 1¢ Franklin Horizontal Coil?

Thanks

Posted by adaplant on March 10, 2004 at 1:24 PM

"Secular Humanist Rethiglicans"

Posted by Bill on March 10, 2004 at 1:24 PM

Forgot to mention Texans. Jeez...

Course if you pulled the plug due to the above categories, only Rosemary could post...Tee hee.

Sorry Dean, had to do it.

Posted by Katherine on March 10, 2004 at 1:28 PM

Meaning that she's the only one of us near perfect.

Posted by Katherine on March 10, 2004 at 1:29 PM

Don't mess with Texas!

Posted by Dean Esmay on March 10, 2004 at 1:59 PM

You forgot newbie craptarians like myself. A craptarian is a Gross Pointer in disguise.

Posted by Catch 22 on March 10, 2004 at 2:02 PM

Hey, left-hander here, too. Since we are a distinct minority, obviously we are victimized and I demand affirmative action and that all discriminatory infrastructure in the country immediately be retrofitted to accommodate US. Oh, and all handshakes from now on will be with the left hand! Screw right-handers! We're a minority so WE'RE SPECIAL! We're VICTIMS! It's all about US! Left-handers unite!

Posted by Peg C. on March 10, 2004 at 2:14 PM

I proudly stand for the left handed, CA, Episcopalian, SciFi fan contingent!

Go us!

Posted by Ith on March 10, 2004 at 2:16 PM

How about Telephone Sanitizers? ...of Gor?

Posted by nathan on March 10, 2004 at 2:24 PM

I bear a certain resemblence to the stamp collector in that one joke...

Posted by triticale on March 10, 2004 at 2:29 PM

Yes! Death to the evil Dextrists!!

My wife and I are both left handed, so I suppose our (eventual) children are doomed to oppression and pencil on the hand all through school.

And they'll also be cursed with blond hair and blue eyes...aren't we just a pack of recessive gene toting freaks?

Oh and don't worry, I gave up philately and numismatism in childhood :-)

Posted by David Mercer on March 10, 2004 at 2:57 PM

I am doomed. Not only do I understand adaplant's post, my daughter took my Walking, Standing and Liberty Heads to school yesterday. I was a basket case all day, now I find I am an outcast as well.

Posted by Dani on March 10, 2004 at 3:04 PM

Meaning that she's the only one of us near perfect.

No, it's Dean who's near Perfect, and that only because he married her.

Posted by Alan Kellogg on March 10, 2004 at 3:19 PM

I hear you have quite a few masticators hanging out here too. Perverts.

Posted by LittleA on March 10, 2004 at 3:48 PM

...and that would be just one Senator from Massachusetts ;)

at least you don't have these. Oops, now you do.

Posted by Rodney Dill on March 10, 2004 at 5:36 PM

Well, my father was a philatelist, my former husband is a philatelist, and I still save stamps for the latter. Does that make me a philately-enabler?

P.S. The Hyatt Regency Grand Cypress (in Orlando, FL) has RIGHT-HANDED butterknives. I've never been so humiliated. Should I sue?

Posted by Lou Villadsen on March 10, 2004 at 5:40 PM

Wait, what about the phlebotomists? What about the philanthropists? And the phrenologists? Huh? Answer me that!

Posted by Mary in LA on March 10, 2004 at 6:21 PM

Ornithologists. Masticators. Ruminants.

Posted by IB Bill on March 10, 2004 at 9:34 PM

You forgot to mention Mormons. sheesh

Posted by Plunge on March 10, 2004 at 10:09 PM

OH MY GOD DEAN THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST JOKE EVER! I AM LAUGHING SO HARD!!!

Posted by malishazilla on March 10, 2004 at 10:24 PM

gamer /Independent Baptist/wannabee hillbilly/SF novelist with technophobia in personal life/rightwinger

Rolls dice to see if he survives baptism in moonshine, or if he blows up the still as he expects...

Tadeusz

Posted by Tadeusz on March 10, 2004 at 11:44 PM

Checking in for the bald chick demographic.

Posted by Juliette on March 11, 2004 at 12:22 AM

You left out "halfbreeds, recovering Catholics, pornagraphers, and smart asses". ;]

Oh - and *gasp!* graphic artists!

Errmm... since I work for an adult 3-D graphics website, I'd be the token pornagrapher, if anyone was wondering. ;}

Man, you're right - this place has gone straight to the low lifes.

Posted by Ironbear on March 11, 2004 at 7:13 AM

This may be the only comment I post in fear that you won't shut the site down. Ive been visiting for about a month getting a feel for what is going on and avoiding being chewed up and spit out :) But what a diverse set of ideas and opinions. If you didn't have this group coming to your site it wouldnt be as exciting. :) (Wow and this is excitement? I need a real life :) )

Posted by Kasey on March 11, 2004 at 9:55 AM

Lets not forget the Home Baptists.

What, you ask, is a Home Baptist?

They stay home on Sundays.

Posted by Phil Winsor on March 11, 2004 at 11:45 AM

WARNING! There's a Scotch-Norweigian-Irish-French descended, pho-and-sushi-eating, left-handed when I write but right-handed when I do everything else, polytheistic, Sapphist-worshipping, gun-loving, selfish aesthete, a deviated prevert, a dogmatic, intolerant, elitist, reactionary member of the vast Western Imperialist Zionist Homosexualist Conservative Conspiracy here.

Posted by Steven Malcolm Anderson the Lesbian-worshipping gun-loving selfish aesthete on March 11, 2004 at 3:09 PM

You're doing Harvey Korman in Blazing Saddles, aren't you?

Posted by Dave in Texas on March 11, 2004 at 3:46 PM

"I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the west. Take this down! I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, half-wits, dim-wits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, .. muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thiefs, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers, and Methodists!"

Posted by Dean Esmay on March 11, 2004 at 8:09 PM

"...mother-stabbers, father-rapers..."

Posted by triticale on March 11, 2004 at 8:44 PM

"...and everyone else on the Group W bench..."

Posted by Rodney Dill on March 12, 2004 at 7:36 AM

Since I fit in a couple of those categories, quietly turning around and backing out the door. Oops! Sorry about my footprints.

Posted by Ursula on March 12, 2004 at 9:44 PM