Who? Kerry? Gore? Dean?

oh holy shit dude...i didn't see your post below. sorry to hear about your dog. please delete my previous comment.

Dean -

Speaking as your friend, albeit a cyber one:

You are obviously in a crisis right now - handling the pain of your dog, and also realizing your addiction.

If you don't want my advice, then tell me to fuck off, but here goes:

Stop posting. I so appreciate you letting us know you're in a crisis - I can't even tell you how much - but I want you to take some action and right NOW. Find a local AA meeting, and go. Today. And call a vet. Or the Humane Society.

Take the steps now. You're tailspinning. It's panic. Of course. It's a lot of heavy stuff to deal with.

But concrete action is what is needed. I know how difficult it is to get MOVING, and start ACTING when you're in crisis.

I am totally here to support you in all of that, if you need it.

Your friend,
Sheila

Rosemary -

The Esmay clan and the dog are all in my prayers.

My dog is about 15 years old. He had some growths that were removed about 6 months ago. I paid a little over a thousand to have them removed. The vet sent them to the lab and he has cancer. They can do chemo on him for $4000. I declined. He's moving slow but he's not yelping in pain. Best I can do is provide a hospice situation for him. You have my prayers and sympathy.

Dean - call a vet. They love animals too, it's why they went into the business. I've known several vets and every one that I've met would help you.

Be sure to read the Kipling poem suggested by Jim on the first Dog post.
My prayers are with you and your family.

Dean and Rosemary -

Sorry to hear about your dog. Realize though that the dog has led a full life. Your expressions exhibit the depth of feeling you have shared with your dog, which I am certain were deepend by the unconditional love your dog lathered on both of you.

Releasing your dog from his pain is very, very difficult, but, if you really love your dog, you will do this. It won't be easy, but it must be done. I wish you peace during this time. So does my dog Iz.

My thoughts and all of the energy I can part with are being directed toward positive resolution for yourself, Jake, Dean and your beloved pet.

Know that you are all loved.

Dean and Rosemary,

You and your beloved dog are in my prayers.

Others can perhaps give better advice than I about addition.

But with regard to your dog, Email me at this link and let me know what your vet will charge for helping your dog find peace and relief of pain. I will contribute what I can towards that bill as soon as I get home tonight to receive the message.

Robin

To the whole Esmay clan,

When you get the time you should check out the MSU College of Vet Medicine Pet Loss Support page at http://cvm.msu.edu/petloss/index.htm. They can be a tremendous help during times like this. I know a couple of the people who work for the service and they are good, caring people.

You'll all be in my prayers right now. God bless.

Dean and Rosemary,

A friend sent me this when my dog Othello passed away last July. It was painful, but the words in this poem by Pablo Neruda helped me alot.

My dog has died.

My dog has died.
I buried him in the garden
next to a rusted old machine.

Some day I'll join him right there,
but now he's gone with his shaggy coat,
his bad manners and his cold nose,
and I, the materialist, who never believed
in any promised heaven in the sky
for any human being,
I believe in a heaven I'll never enter.
Yes, I believe in a heaven for all dogdom
where my dog waits for my arrival
waving his fan-like tail in friendship.

Ai, I'll not speak of sadness here on earth,
of having lost a companion
who was never servile.
His friendship for me, like that of a porcupine
withholding its authority,
was the friendship of a star, aloof,
with no more intimacy than was called for,
with no exaggerations:
he never climbed all over my clothes
filling me full of his hair or his mange,
he never rubbed up against my knee
like other dogs obsessed with sex.

No, my dog used to gaze at me,
paying me the attention I need,
the attention required
to make a vain person like me understand
that, being a dog, he was wasting time,
but, with those eyes so much purer than mine,
he'd keep on gazing at me
with a look that reserved for me alone
all his sweet and shaggy life,
always near me, never troubling me,
and asking nothing.

Ai, how many times have I envied his tail
as we walked together on the shores of the sea
in the lonely winter of Isla Negra
where the wintering birds filled the sky
and my hairy dog was jumping about
full of the voltage of the sea's movement:
my wandering dog, sniffing away
with his golden tail held high,
face to face with the ocean's spray.

Joyful, joyful, joyful,
as only dogs know how to be happy
with only the autonomy
of their shameless spirit.

There are no good-byes for my dog who has died,
and we don't now and never did lie to each other.

So now he's gone and I buried him,
and that's all there is to it.

Good luck Dean and Rosemary.

You have been so supportive of others, including the Chief. You have my prayers and well wishes.

Rosemary, Dean, and Jake,

God bless you all.

As a recovering alcoholic, and a dog-lover that lost a Brittany to cancer, I have to say: listen to Sheila. She's right all the way around.

Nothing starts the process better than doing something about it. Nothing makes the aftermath worse than indecision.

Do post this:

How much do you need? To take care of what's necessary for your dog. To fix your car (there was post not long ago about an engine seizing, no?). To help bridge the gap while you wade through the short term.

Tell us, please.

Then folks, it's TIP JAR TIME!

Prayers here as well.

Dean, Rosemary, Jake... you folks, and your dog, are very much in my prayers at this time.

Damn! You folks have so much to deal with right now.

I lost a beloved dog to cancer, almost 20 years ago. I'm sorry, I can't say any more about it than that, I'm breaking down in tears to write even that much about it. Yes, almost 20 years later.

If there's anything I can do for you...

And if you need any assistance on the veterinary bills, I too would be willing to chip in.

I have never had a pet, until we got our firs dog last year. Now I can't imagine life without her. What you are going through must be awwful...I feel so much for you both.

Your family, human and canine, is in my thoughts.

-Mike

Tell us what you need, Dean. I won't hesitate to help with a vet bill either.

Suddenly I visit and I see a soul crying out. Dean and Rosemary, you are in my prayers. Dean, I have put down beloved pets, and I am the child of an alcoholic; I won't say I feel your pain but I definitely understand it. AA is absolutely the way to go -- for yourself tonight most definitely. A vet will take care of your beloved dog, who is crying out for an end to his suffering. I am praying for all the Esmays.

I am so inclined, Rosemary.
And I second what Red said.

Now is no time for this statistic and that statistic, but AA beats all the other programs cold in terms of success. You have to find that higher power that will help you out of this mess, Dean- whether it's God, Gaia, or an untapped part of your own being, it's there. There is something in all of us that transcends the often shitty world we're in. You can find it, but you need help to do it.

God bless you and your family, pooch included.

my prayers for you all

My prayers for you and your dear friend.

Dear Dean and Rosemary: This makes me very sad. I'll pray for you. Bless you and yours.

Prayers said.

I have a 2 month old baby and a 5 year old cat. I know that in the best of all possible worlds, in about 10 years, give or take, I'll have a funeral for the cat.

I'm not looking forward to it. I could avoid that pain by not having the cat. But she gives us pleasure, and I'm happy to share her life while she's here.

When you get the puppy, you get the dog funeral too. Just a sad fact of life.

The alcohol is not just a sad fact of life. It's big, it's bad, but it can be beat. Do it. You have my tip.

About 2 months ago, I had to put my wonderful, loving cat to sleep. She was 13, had a fibrosarcoma in her back, and it finally got to her spinal collumn. She suddenly lost the use of her rear legs and other functions.

THe awful part of it was that she was in no real pain, and was still much alive, but her body was just broken. I had no choice -- the surgery had failed, and there was now nothing for it, but to end it.

I cried for a day before hand, and several days afterward. She was my favorite pet of all time. I still miss her.

But it had to be done.

Go to the vet, make sure you're right. Then let him go with love, and see it through to the end.

Then deal with the other problem.

Dean, sorry to hear about your dog. I have had to put a dog to sleep because she had bone cancer, just like her brother our previous dog. My first memory of a dog was one that died in my father's arms of a heart attack.

Just realise that the dog is lucky. If he gets a terminal illness that will mean the rest of his life is spent in terminal pain you can put him out of his misery. Somethng we call "humane" although the same is not the case for humans.

Enjoy the time you have left, comfort your dog...I am sure he knows that you deeply care for him.

We had our cat Chester put to sleep over ten years ago, and I still feel the pain sometimes.

And for at least 2 years afterward, my wife and I both distinctly felt Chester jump up on the bed at night and sleep at our feet, just as she did in life. I kid you not.

My favorite ghost.

In 1995 we discovered that our beloved dog of 12 years (one that we literally rescued from a garbage dumpster along with 11 other littermates) had developed extensive lung cancer.

We tried to work around it for as long as we could. Then one day she put her head in my lap and gave me a look of pleading.

I made what was the toughest decision in my life. I still cry when I think about it and I still cry every March 11.

But it is for the best. It is a hard thing to do, but it is for the best.

You are in our thoughts.