Dean's World
 Defending the liberal tradition in history, science, and philosophy.

.:: Dean's World: Fun ::.

February 22, 2004

Fun

I've been online for a bit over 20 years. I've been a weblogger for a bit under 2 of those years.

In those two years, I have been called a Nazi, a liberal apologist for terrorism, a neo-con, a link-whore, a racist, a queer-basher, a sexist, stupid, full of shit, a loser, a neanderthal, a Republican, and a Democrat. I've even been directly compared with Fred Phelps! There've also been two lawsuit threats, and now I just got the topper: anti-Semite.

You knew it was just a matter of time before I was outed, didn't you?

Yes, it's true. I do hate the Jews. With all their funny hats and stupid songs. And what about that whole "Talmud" thing? What's up with that? Isn't the Book of Mormon good enough for those people?

Plus the Jews gave us Gilbert Gottfried and Sammy Davis Jr. They have much explaining to do.

Why, just the other day I was at my accountant's office, and I said, "Leo, I've finally realized I just don't like you," and punched him in the nose. "Oy gevalt!" he cried, and I said, "Hey! This is America! Don't be speakin' no goofy gop Spanish around here!"

Then I went to my buddy Moe's place and kicked him in the shins. Because the only thing worse than a Jew is Presbyterian. Oooh, how I hate the Prebyterians, with their beady little eyes, their "prayers" and their "choirs" and their "pot luck spaghetti dinners!" If it weren't for the Methodists, I'd hate the Presbyterians most of all!

Or the women. Give 'em the vote? Hell, our big mistake was giving 'em shoes! They're almost as bad as the Irish. Feh! Women!

Especially a Jewish black irishwoman. Those are the worst of all. Except for all the other races, who are worse.

I think the only people I can tolerate are the Hmong. Gay atheist Hmong. So I've decided to divorce my wife and marry a gay Hmong man in San Francisco. We plan to start a Neo-Neo-Communist movement dedicated to the eradication of Jews, women, and the Irish. Also the expulsion of New Mexico from the union--we don't need no New Mexicos, Old Mexico was good enough for our grandparents, by God!

Besides, New Mexicans kinda smell funny, ya know?

Gay atheist Hmong of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains! And women, Irishmen, and Jews!

---

I have only one serious thought here: Sling around important terms carelessly, and you can dilute their significance. Badly.

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Discuss This Article!

 

Dean, that's "Presbyterians with their soup and chili suppers," if you please.

Which Mt. Hope put on a week ago yesterday. And which went very well indeed, thank you.

Though just in case, we were keeping an eye open for marauding bands of gay atheist Hmong.

Posted by Paul Burgess on February 22, 2004 at 8:35 AM


Yeah, that's what you want us to believe.

Posted by Dean Esmay on February 22, 2004 at 8:49 AM


I don't recall you mentioning anything about the 2 potential lawsuits. Do you care to comment about the pathetic individuals who threatened to sue you? I'm pretty sure I know who one of the individuals is.

Posted by Alan on February 22, 2004 at 9:03 AM


Don't fucking dare blame Jews for Sammy Davis, Jr.

In all seriousness though Dean. Your point is well taken. I think the words anti-Semite, racist and homophobe are the three most over-used insults today.

In fact, whenever I hear someone in the blogosphere call another blogger either of these terms, it usually turns out that the "racist, homophobis, anti-Semite" is making a good point.

Posted by Michael Demmons on February 22, 2004 at 9:21 AM


Oy. Flippin. Vey.

Posted by Ara Rubyan on February 22, 2004 at 10:20 AM


Got to agree with you about the Irish, I'm disinheritaging myself (if that's possible) since they outlawed smoking in the whole F@#%ing country. Awful, Pubs with no Fags.

Leprecauns are homophobes

Mark, the self-loathing former Irish/English/italian/hetero-American

Posted by Mark Adams on February 22, 2004 at 10:32 AM


You neocollectivistic postmodern nihilist!

Posted by Watcher on February 22, 2004 at 10:41 AM


Albinos are the True White Race.



Sallow Power!

Posted by McGehee on February 22, 2004 at 11:23 AM


WOO HOO! I'm Free!

Here's my chance to ruin another man with my evil woman power!!

Posted by Rosemary the Queen of All Evil on February 22, 2004 at 11:37 AM


I'm insulted! Not a single slur against Southern Baptists in a dozen paragraphs! :)

Posted by Thinks Too Much on February 22, 2004 at 12:25 PM


One of the biggest scandals in the history of the Milwaukee police department concerned their insensitivity to gay (possibly atheist) Hmong.

Posted by triticale on February 22, 2004 at 12:37 PM


Plus the Jews gave us Gilbert Gottfried and Sammy Davis Jr. They have much explaining to do.

Okay, hold it. First of all, Sammy Davis Jr was a GREAT talent. The fact that his form of entertainment is no longer popular with the masses does not alter the fact. And, like him or not, you can't blame the Jews for the fact that he converted to their religion.

Gilbert Gottfried is a mutant, a sign that God is not happy with us.

Posted by Gary Utter the twit on February 22, 2004 at 1:30 PM


Somebody has to take responsibility for Woody Allen. I won't rest until his brain is confiscated.

Posted by Keith Taylor on February 22, 2004 at 4:03 PM


Er, Keith, haven't you seen any of his recent movies? I think that boat has left the dock.

I'm just saying.

Posted by Ara Rubyan on February 22, 2004 at 5:04 PM


Jews play stupid games. Jews, that's why they're lame.

Posted by Eric Cartman on February 23, 2004 at 12:47 AM


You've been online for over twenty years?

Must be a royal bitch having to hit the Stay Connected button on AOL every twenty minutes.

Posted by Laurence Simon on February 23, 2004 at 3:16 PM


Who's Laurence Simon? Is he that cocksucker who calls everyone either an anti-semite or a fag?

He seems really obsessed with "fags", ya think that means he's a self hating homo?

Posted by Rosemary the Queen of All Evil on February 23, 2004 at 4:42 PM


AOL Rulz! I hope one day to upgrade to a 56K modem!!!! D00d!!!!

Posted by Dean Esmay on February 23, 2004 at 4:44 PM


And another thing - the Irish aren't half as bad as the hippies. Damn long hairs ruining Easter for Jesus.

Posted by Ru on February 24, 2004 at 10:00 AM


 



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