Dean:

You are absolutely correct; that's the good news.

The bad news: tailgaters, finger-flippers and horn honkers and especially illegal speeders
get executed first.

Please drive safe. You can save a life.

Okay...
...what about the middle lane in a three-lane highway?
...what about the 4th lane in a 5-lane highway? that's also left of of the lanes to the right...

(just trying to cause trouble)

And what about when the right lane is stuck behind some idiot going 45 in a 75 mph zone? (Hey, I live in SW Florida.)

There was once a radio DJ who did a character by the name of Red Neckerson (this was in N.C.) who said:

"I always wanted one of them snowplow blades fer the front of my pickup. That way I could shove them slow drivers off the road and crush 'em like a beer can."

HAIL, HAIL, TO THY ALMIGHTY DEAN!

giggle,giggle oh my gosh... you have no idea how funny you are!

OH YES, IT'S MY KIND OF TOWN...SINATRA!

Question:

Where in the FUCK are the flying cars that we were promised so long ago? Solve the flying car dilemma and then can send a hunk of metal off to Mars in search of a goddamn trace of methane!

Also, if granny does get out of the way, how much time are you actually saving? My guess is not that much. I think people who get angry about people blocking up their precious left lane either ejaculate too quickly or haven't had an orgasm in years if ever. My message to impatient drivers: Shut the fuck up, wait your turn, or learn to fly a helicopter! Unless you're racing off to donate a kidney or save a life, your dead-end lame-ass job will go on in your brief absence. I've got an idea, try waking up earlier or getting your life organized bunch of lazy fucktards. Railing on slow drivers is the telltale sign that something else is wrong. It's so easy to verbally take it out on poor, slow drivers, but I see through the facade. If I don't have enough power, money, success at least I can be king of the road. I've got a better idea - get a massage.

Well, I believe that the full range of penalties should be kept open, we shouldn't prejudge the jury system...

I'm one of those people you love to hate - yup, a left-lane blocker.

Always at the speed limit or more, mind, and usually 5-10 over, sometimes more.

But, except in rare cases, I don't move over when people climb up my butt.

Why?

Because about 98% of the time Joe Loser who wants to ride my butt also wants to go about 3 tenths of a mile per hour faster than me. Maybe. If I move over, he'll gladly spend so much time passing me that I'll get hosed behind an 18-wheeler or an Airstream.

And you know what? The people who are actually in a hurry *and have a clue* get around quickly anyways.

I got sick and tired of getting hosed most of the time when I tried to be a nice guy. So now I try to be considerate, but I look out for #1 first. And the fast guys (I'm a 90+ percentile driver most of the time) get around me just fine.

Stop yer whining.

Dean, you need to come live where I do. A place where the highway patrol will actually give a ticket to a slow person in the left lane for impeding the flow of traffic. Wonderful, just wonderful!

Before I forget:

All Hail the Mighty Dean - He Who Is Always Right About Everything - His will be done.

Now that I've got that out of the way: Tim, you remind me of one of the few bits of advice my father gave me about driving: "Is it really worth it, to get there 60 seconds sooner?" Most people, most of the time, save very little actual time by driving fast.

One noticiable exception would be long distance, across country. Then even 55 mph vs. 65 mph would show a difference. Which reminds me, I haven't heard from any of the flatlanders yet; I hear the highways in the more deserted parts of the country are quite safe at 80+ in good weather.

My pet peeve: asshats who speed through school zones. There is NO excuse for that. None. Offenders should be castrated, drawn, and quartered.

Personally, I'd execute tail-gaters and "weavers" before I'd excute the odd idiot who drives slow in the fast lane...generally, you can get around such morons without too much trouble...but a tail-gater and a "weaver" are a horrific accident just waiting to happen...and, more importantly, happen to me.

Keep your distance, pass only when its completely safe to do so...the life you might save may very, very importantly be mine...

No Dean , hanging is too ggod for them. Those who block the left lane should be have to spend an overnight with Michael Jackson. One day for each violation. then we can hang them .Also the same punishment should apply to those demented souls who defend these dregs of human DNA.

Tim the Soldier:
"Also, if granny does get out of the way, how much time are you actually saving? My guess is not that much."

Where I grew up, the traffic pattern changes from rural to town to city with very little warning. It's common for four-lane highways to have windy little residential roads (often paved-over farm lanes) emptying on to them. Passing Beatrice in her '76 Oldsmobile now may not add more than a few seconds to a straight-line trip without traffic signals, but it can determine whether you make it through strategic lights or four-way stops without waiting. Also, when you're driving behind someone, you have to be attentive to his every move, especially if it's on a highway with lots of merging and exits. Unless it's a drunk, passing him usually means you can forget whether he's taking the turnoff for 476, or whatever.

Man, I miss driving.

"Passing Beatice in her '76 Oldsmobile..." - Sean, that imagine is GOLD! (no pun intended)

Ladies and gentleman we have a first in Dean's World: Tim th Soldier, Mark Noonan, AND Casey agree on a subject. Cheesecake for everyone!!

Dean,

AMEN! As a fellow Detroiter, I have often wished for a Vulcan cannon mounted to the hood of my car to lay waste to the self-centered bastards who think that driving in the left lane is their God-given right. No one on the road, and they are cruising at 45 in the left lane.

What the naysayers in the comments fail to understand are Detroit's driving rules. The actual speed limit is 15 mph faster than posted. Going 55 is 15 mph under the real speed limit.

When you look in your rearview mirror and you notice twenty cars all bumper-to-bumper behind you, it is only common courtesy to get over.

I-75 is the worst for this. The Lodge is the best: the closest thing we have to the Autobahn.

Amen!

Casey: You are correct. I've driven from Portland to SLC and back a few times, and througought souther Idaho and northern Utah it's common to go 85-90 for hours at a time, simply because there's no reason not to. (Eastern Oregon would be fine for that, if not for the far more zealous Oregon State Patrol, and those damned mountains. Idaho SP doesn't seem to care if you're doing 80-85 on I-84, however.)

On the central and northern California regions of I-5, people likewise go quite fast - and why not? The road's mostly empty, mostly flat, and mostly straight. Heck, if not for congestion (at various times of day) and the occasional mountain, I-5 outside of the major cities should be safe to drive 85-95, in terms of physical highway suitability, all the way from LA to the Canadian border.

Come to think of it, almost all of the Interstate highway system is safe at those speeds, in normal weather and barring congestion. (Here in the northwest "normal weather" includes rain, of course. 85 on the freeway to Seattle in the rain really isn't anything much - just leave more room between cars and watch for brakelights, and have good tires. Done it over and over.)

Also, what I meant to also say above, is that Dean's proclamation needs an exception, for people in the left lane to, as Rosemary indicated, pass someone going really slow.

I'm fairly impatient with people going slow or doing stupid things on the highway (as long as they're in front of me, at least), but I never get annoyed at someone going "slow" in the left hand lane as long as they're passing someone going even slower on the right, and get back right as soon as it's safe to do so, and pass as quickly as conditions allow.

Someone going 65 in a 70 zone in the left lane is fine, as long as they're passing a truck going 55, and get back right ASAP.

"Keep right except to pass". That is the key to all lane-related behaviour and politeness.

OK, the penalty is not quite as severe as the one Dean suggested, but this is a good start. Scroll down to Road Rules and you will see all the nifty new driving laws for Illinois that went into effect the first of the year. They changed Illinois law to permit police to ticket slow pokes in the left lane that are not passing anyone.

We just need them to raise the $75 fine to the death penalty to align this more along the lines of Dean and Rosemary's suggestions. Sounds like we need a petition!