"Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."

Why do I find it annoying? Oh please... Res ipsa loquitur.

"Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer".

One of my favorites, oddly enough: The "duet" that Bing Crosby and David Bowie (if you can imagine) sang on a Christmas show many years ago. You can find it on a few CD's out there. They alternate between "Peace on Earth" and "Little Drummer Boy".

In fact, I'd love to find all the various "Bowie oddities" like the duet with Queen, the song he did for the movie "Cat People", etc. Talented guy.

And as for Mannheim Pavement Leveler, the only recording they ever did which I enjoy was when they backed C.W. McCall on "Convoy".

Barbara Streisand singing Jingle Bells.

Well, not so much "singing" as "comitting vile acts of deplorable tonal and rhythmic genocide against" Jingle Bells.

Hmmm. As usual I will go against the grain here and tell you what my favorite Christmas song is: "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," preferably the version sung by Judy Garland, with the original lyrics, not the revised lyrics sung by Sinatra and others.

I heard Streisand doing "My Favorite Things" on a "Christmas Music" show, so I'll say that, based on the rapidity with which I turned the dial, it's my least favorite. I was prepared to give her a chance, but her phony laugh on "whiskers on kittens" blew it for me.

Steamroller, blech. They turn every song, even the most joyful, into a dirge.

I used to work in a music store many christmases ago, and I agree that Mannheim Steamroller is the crowning jewel of christmas carol crap.. it pretends to be real music, which is why it gets my vote as The Worst

most of your readers probably aren't aware of this group, but they put out garbage similar to Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.. they're called 'Da Yoopers' (which is a slang term for residents of Upper Michigan.. ie, U.P.).. I hate to give them free publicity, but check it out.. this is what I have to listen to in the midwest every year

http://www.dayoopers.com/

altho they might actually be better than Babs

Worst I've heard this year: Christina Aguilara's version of "Angels We Have Heard on High." One word: ouch!

Close second: Kenny G's Christmas Album. To quote Norm MacDonald, "Happy birthday Jesus. Here's some crap!"

Best: Modern Hawaiian music legend Willie K. doing "O Holy Night." This guy is phenomenal. He's the Hawaiian version of Roy Orbison meets Carlos Santana.

Mahalo.

I received the CD, "Naked Elves in Cowboy Boots" by Da Yoopers as a Christmas gift last year. I think that's the name ... I listened to it once, then buried it in my stack of CDs.

As far as mainstream Christmas music, I cannot stand "The Little Drummer Boy." I'm currently listening to Christmas music by the Glenn Miller Orchestra.

I particulary love the Glenn Miller Orchestra's version of "Crunk-up Xmas in the Hood" by the first Hip-hop bloggers - Webmaster Flash and Chronic C+.

Tim:

Are you drunk again? :^)

Merry Christmas dude.

I am a Jew; I shouldn't have anything to say about this. Of course, I will.

My least favorite Christmas song is Do They Know It's Christmas from Bob Geldof and Band-Aid. Excuse me, but most of Africa is in the Southern Hemisphere. On 25 December, it's summer there. The people there don't get a white Christmas. And just sending them food only props up the dictators that are ruining their nations.

My favorite Christmas album is We Three Kings, by the Roches. Maggie, Terre, and Suzzy Roche do come up with some twisted harmonies; the Carribean lilt on Deck the Halls, and the Brooklynese version of Frosty the Snowman are typically eccentric. However, their classic a capella pieces are brilliant. The title track, Angels We Have Heard On High, For Unto Us a Child Is Born, Good King Wenceslas, It Came upon a Midnight Clear, and Adeste Fideles are wonderful.

I have to agree with Bigwig, actually. The Pretty Little Dolly by Mona Abboud is funny. Also, Green Christmas by Stan Freberg. And there's the old favorite—did Clarence ever get his new saxophone?

Ara,

No, I'm on duty until 0800 25 Dec 2003. I am assigned as the Staff Duty NCO for the 344th Military Intelligence Batallion, and I have a computer at my watch desk with high-speed internet access, caffeine in reach, and nothing to do but patrol Dean's World.

Tim the Soldier wishing all of Dean's World bloggers a "Bright" Holiday - even Sheila.

there is so much Christmas music that makes me cringe, so i'll just mention some i DO like.

The Merry Axemas albums. (I think it was Steve Vai who put these together? Some wankin cool guitar stuff on them)

And "Merry Christmas, Baby" by Southern Culture on the Skids. It's a cover, but i can't remember who did it first. Very groovy. Love the Dano tone.

Best of all, "New Kids Got Run Over by a Reindeer". I have no idea who did it.

Hands down, the most annoying Christmas music in history is the version of jingle bells done solely with the voices of screeching cats. This is followed closely by the version of jingle bells done solely by crying babies. Gah!

The absolute worst Christmas song is "My Favorite Things"-as sung by anybody who has ever recorded it. That song should be permanently banned from the airwaves. Anything by the Steamroller and Kenny G should be banned as well.

I know I have little knowledge of music, so just send your Mannheim Steamrollers my way. Its good fun stuff, and who said great money or great skill was required to make good music, anyways?

Idiots with a bit of luck, and diligence can make quite a success in this world.

Bad Christmas music, well, I like almost all of it, but listening to "Grandma Got Run Over..." over the college intercom is pretty hard to take what with the horrid sound quality.

Tadeusz says "Merrie Christmas."

"My Favorite Things" is nice enough in its proper habitat, that being a movie or community theatre production of "The Sound Of Music."

My favorite Christmas song this year is "Santa Sucks" by Bigger Than Plastic. I hear it on my XM radio's "Unsigned" station, although they'll probably play it on Special X's Christmas show too.

Go to www.biggerthanplastic.com to see a video if you want. I haven't seen it - I don't believe in RealAudio.

Mannheim Steamroller probably isn't art, and that's probably why I like it. )

I agree that it's easier to pick out stuff you do like, but I have to say I can't stand most modern (i.e. the past 40 years) Christmas music.

Didn't the Beach Boys do something once? Ewwwwh.

There's some good stuff out there: Bruce Springsteen and/or The Pointer Sisters doing Santa Claus Is Coming To Town or Don Henly's So This Is Christmas.

And I can't stand anyone who performs a traditional song so slavishly that it's depressing and boring. Yuck.

Oddly enough, while country music has some of the worst offenders (see above), they also have some of the more interesting interpretations these days.

I can't recall the name offhand, but one of the male vocalists (Vince Gill? not sure) has a lovely rendition of Little Drummer Boy; one of the very few I've actually enjoyed. 98% of the artists out there observe a strict 2/4 tempo when they sing the song, making it very boring. This version has a much more relaxed phrasing, giving the song a more human tone.

SheDaisy released a marvelous Deck The Halls that, while we're talking about phrasing, is truly different. And the song contains the usual (unbelievable) harmonies of the sisters.

But one of my truly favorite Christmas songs is Silent Night, by the Temptations.

Paul McCartney's insipid, repetitive "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time." Ugh.

I'm a traditionalist when it comes to Christmas music and O Holy Night never fails to bring a tear to my eye. Silent Night the same.

In my office we have been treated to three wonderful weeks of non-stop piped in secular Christmas music. I'm ready to bring an AK-47 in and shoot up the place if it's still on next Monday when I return.

I second HH on his condemnation of Paul McCartney's horrible, wretched, puerile Christmas song. Gad!

Casey,

It figures you would actually like Don Henley, or as I like to call him, the biggest pussy of a drummer that ever lived. Horrible, horrible music. The Eagles should have been castrated years ago because their music has no balls.

I hesitate to defend Mannheim Steamroller here since it is apparent I will end up getting flamed off the net when I do. However, I happen to like them and think they do some interesting, if not innovative, things musically. And it isn't limited to Christmas Music either. In case you're interested in hearing some of their original stuff try Fresh Aire IV or VII (my faves). I'm not going to argue why I think they're good since it's mostly a pedantic distinction, but I will say that even if you don't like it you should be wary of making such claims as "I could buy a Casio keyboard for $50 and record something like this in my basement." What they do is certainly not easy. I'm by no means well educated in music but I have studied classical piano for over ten years and I've been studying jazz improv for just over two years and I'm always impressed when I discover some new melodic variation or interesting chord movement in Mannheim's songs. Well, that's just my $0.02. Merry Christmas all.

As unlikely as it seems, Christmas is the time for horror stories. Imagine ... working in a bookstore. Manager puts a few CD's on "shuffle" and makes a quick trip to the bank. Immediately the CD player is possessed by evil and sticks on Barbara Streisands version of Jingle Bells. (I can only guess you people haven't dwelled on it because you haven't heard it). Its bizzarre. If I were a conspiracy freak (which I'm not), I'd claim the jew was intentionally trying to destroy Christmas one song at a time. I find it unbelievable she recorded that song with anything other either total stupidity or total malice.

How bad is it? True story: It inspired criminal acts. Imagine ... you're trapped in that bookstore. The manager locked the door to the office with the CD-player! The song plays over and over .. customers are actually screaming at you to make it stop (LITERALLY). Eventually, they find a crowbar in someone's car trunk and start breaking down the door to the office. The manager is near mauled as she comes in the front door. The CD was destroyed, but only after it came close to destroying us all.

Worst: Well, right at the moment I think that any "covers" by fluttering vocalists who can't bear to sing it straight are high on my list, as is "Now That's What I Call Christmas!" is way up there since we've been listening to that @#$^#$%! CD since Thanksgiving at my work.

Best: A (big) step above Mannheim Steamroller is Trans-Siberian Orchestra, though some of their songs are unfortunately overplayed. The reader who mentioned Merry Axemas (and anyone else who likes electric guitar carols) would like Gary Hoey's Christmas albums (Ho Ho Hoey). Any cover of lesser-known carols done with respect for the work. Fourth Estate's song "Joy", based on Bach, I think.

And Gonzaga University Choir's Christmas album, which you can't buy through the college's site because some moron screwed up the coding. Though I like the version of Personet Hodie from the Encore CD better than the girls' version.

And I own that Bowie/Crosby song. Mainly because it blows a fuse in some people's heads.

Allison,

Did you just say, "the jew..."? Any good capitalist knows that the phrase, "Jesus is the reason for the season" is a suckers slogan that gives us another reason to max out our credit cards. So you see, Visa is the reason for the season.

Tim: hey, Desperado was a decent album! Although Elton John's Tumbleweed Connection shows a stronger connection (heh) to rural America.

But, there is no real drumming in the Christmas song I mentioned, just simple 2/4 time, so Donny's perfectly qualified to sing it! Heh.

P.S. you enjoy Christmas over there bud, while you're at the spear's point in Korea. God Bless.

Casey,

Jackass, I'm stationed in San Angelo, TX. Deep in the armpit of west Tejas. Although I was in South Korea from 2000-2002, I'm back in the states until 2005, then it's off to Korea again.
Of course, with all that mush music of the Beagles running through your brain, it's easy to see how you'd be confused. Oh, Happy Holidays. Hope to meet you guys someday. If you're ever in San Angelo and you have decided against suicide (bad choice), let me know, we can go to the Super Walmart and make fun of the locals.

The absolute worst Christmas song is "My Favorite Things"

It makes an awful Christmas song, because it's not in fact a Christmas song. You might as well call (to pick an example at random from the thread) "Desperado" a Christmas song.

As for Mannheim Steamroller, they sure do spend a lot of time orchestrating and practicing playing those real instruments for it to come out sounding like a $50 Casio keyboard. You can definitely tell they are real people playing real instruments, not synthesizers. (Unlike the Alan Parsons Project, where the direction to the orchestra usually seemed to be "pretend you're playing an orchestra patch on a keyboard." Not that I didn't love 'em anyway.) I can't say I'm a huge fan of Mannheim Steamroller, but I did like the album they did with Mason Williams of "Classical Gas" fame.

Damn, could have sworn I saw you type somewhere that you were in Korea. :)

And that's mister jackass to you! I'm older than you are, and uglier, so I deserver some respect. Heh.

Besides, my sisters were the Beatles maniacs; I was more into Hendrix, Joplin, and CSNY as a youth... :)

A good friend from school is from Texas, although I have no idea how far Willow Park is from San Angelo, although I'm sure I could ask her.

And I have to agree that Desperado makes a lousy Christmas song.

I hope everyone got nice stuff in their stockings today.

Um, you can't stand them, but you'll take the Amazon commission should anyone decide to buy them? Ho ho! Merry Christmas!

The Good:

O Holy Night by John Berry
O Holy Night by Reba McEntire
Silver Bells by Wynona Judd
Christmas in Dixie by Alabama
Teddy the Red Nosed Senator by ???

The Bad:

Jingle Bell Rock by anyone
Any song by any singer who sends his/her voice all over the fricking map while he/she is supposed to be holding a note. This also shows up all the fricking time in national anthem performances.

The Ugly:

Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer

I'd like to send that Little Drummer Boy to the front lines at Antietam about now...

Didn't Wynonna eat the little drummer boy or what that just her drummer? Although Christmas in a Dixie Cup is my favorite holiday sperm bank song, I just can't stomach the sound of 99% of country music.

That's something we can firmly agree on, Tim: Alabama has the same sonic quality of a cat trying to take a dump out of a sewed-up butthole.

Tim and Casey agree on something?!? Obviously the Brights must be crazy. I must be crazy; I just referred to myself in the third person. Well, Tim the Soldier has got to go.