You should not read this if you are easily disturbed.
Recently, I was sitting in our family easy chair, my feet on the ottoman. Our family dog, a white German Shepherd named Buttons, was sitting near my feet.
Suddenly, I felt a rumbling.
I looked around, feeling a vague sense of unease. The rumbling grew greater. Feeling uneasy, I shifted a bit and contemplated leaving the room. But I was basically alone, so I decided not to move, and to just wait it out.
Finally, I relaxed. With a slight shudder, I felt a surge of relief. Immediately, I felt a whole lot better.
I sighed a bit.
Then, something happened to make me realize that I'd just done something truly awe-inspiring: Buttons lifted his head. His ears went back, and his muzzle curled. He staggered to his feet and backed up. He looked at me, accusingly, with a stunned look on his face.
His face spoke a thousand words, the gist of which were: "Oh my GOD, what the HELL was THAT?!?!?
He stomped out of the room, his ears flat against his head, his tail between his legs.
-=-
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you.
you offended the dog? that's it? jeez, I've actually woken my dog up on occasion!
i swear, i thought it was gonna end up something much worse, and let's just say, much more moist. (the technical term is "splotcher" or "spoodle."
oh well, maybbe next time!
Breath-taking!
Dean, when you're quitting smoking, you need every bit of positive self-regard you can find. Be proud of your achievement.
We are not worthy.
I worked with a fellow who chased himself out of a room that way. A well ventilated room in a factory. And seemed proud of it.
Wow! What was that thing just went rushing by?
Oh, that was just my false belief that Dean had some class and his blog stuck to interesting political topics! It flew right out the window!
;)
Heh
triticale, you think that's bad, one guy at work (beer and White Castle the night before) cut one so smelly that -even tho the back door was open while we unloaded a semi- went into the office to get the fog mask the managers wear when the exterminators spray!
Many years ago, on ROTC summer training, I wore my gas mask while visiting a particularly noxious field latrine, and it worked just fine. I encounterd an instructor as I emerged; he was pleased to learn how confidence-building the experiment had been.
file this entry under "excesses of the blogosphere."
I shouldn't even be commenting on this thread, or should at least use a pseudonym like pullmyfinger, but Dean is such a corrupting influence I'll just say this reminds of a "Picket Fences" once where Tom Skerritt is sitting blindfolded at his surprise birthday party dinner table, unaware he is surrounded by family and friends as his wife goes to get something from the kitchen; and . . . in the peristaltic nature of things, he leisurely ignites what sounds like an underwater string of firecrackers. Wife re-enters, staggers, takes off blindfold . . .
Count your blessings, Dean, but . . . what have you been eating, man?