I was surprised to have a conversation with my 20-something pal Kyle recently, who told me that one of the things young women do these days to get men's attention is to pretend to be lesbians. I was rather amused by this, and only mildly surprised that it was widespread. I was wondering if he weren't exaggerating.
Then I read Sometimes I Like Girls on the Either/Or weblog (thanks, Yeti) and I realized that Kyle probably wasn't exaggerating.
Human sexuality is interesting stuff. I note that what we're seeing here, though, seems to match up with recent scientific studies on the differences between male and female sexual response. It seems like the movie Chasing Amy was far more realistic than some in the queer community wanted to credit it with being.
I recall doing that at least once when I was young, 25 years ago. I suppose if I recall once, I did it more than once. Why does every generation think they're oh so new?
Because the young always think their old uncool fogey parents could never have been the horndogs required to propagate the species that they now are. ("Ick! Mom & Dad got sqweachy?!?!? That's just gross!")
Wasnt there some talk a couple of years back about the popularity of "lesbian chic" lifestyle among college age women, especially on colleges and universities? On most college campuses where a anything-goes kind of social scene exists, for men, acting like a "metrosexual" also seems to have become quite popular!!!!
Wow, I really don't understand women.
That's funny, my friends and I have pretended to be gay in order to be left alone. Getting hit on by drunken frat boys is the last thing we want, so we've put our arms around each other, look the guy square in the eye and told him, "sorry, hun, you're not our "type"". They generally get the hint and leave pretty quickly after that.
In that instance, Kat, it's almost certainly the lack of an inviting look that puts the message across.
Flirting is different regardless of the setting and, er, props.
I did it more than once when I was single. The first time it was to get rid of a couple of drunk rednecks at the bar. It didn't work. I sat there and made out with my best friend in front of those guys and they got into it.
So we decided that it was a handy way to pickup guys because they totally thought it was hot.
Worked very well...
I sat there and made out with my best friend in front of those guys and they got into it.
So we decided that it was a handy way to pickup guys because they totally thought it was hot.
So you think it would work as well for me and a buddy as a way to meet women?
I cannot express the joy I have in not being in the single dating scene these last 20 years.
It's a good way to pick up guys?
That's so sad, and speaks to too many young women wanting attention so badly they'll fake making out to get guys to come talk to them.
I truly believe this is the Law of Unintended Consequences at work here. The consequence of the Sexual Revolution is men getting laid without having to do anything.
I've been around women who claimed to be bisexual, but only returned the phone calls of the men... I hope that women who are using this as a technique to pick up guys let the other women involved know that they're not really lesbians or bisexual. I thought it was a very mean thing to do to people.
Ditto what Kat said. "She's with me" works pretty well for getting rid of unwanted attention.
I've known girls who fake it to get guys. But I'm still unclear on why anyone would want a guy that she had to be fake to get...
I definitely think that female sexuality is way, way different from male sexuality. I think this is a combination of innate factors and cultural factors.
Personally, I know of few instances of men "acting gay" to attract women; and usually it's just guys *saying* they're gay, not actively dancing with / groping other guys.
The whole "Chasing Amy" thing: I think it's accurate to a point, but I think it also gets big yawns from full-out lesbians who are simply uninterested in seeing males involved in their sexuality at all. There are lots of gay and lesbian people who were bored by the movie, myself included, because in our world, heterosexuality is really beside the point. From a straight or bisexual perspective, however, I can see some really interesting ideas raised by the movie (particularly when Ben Affleck's character kisses his best friend).
Mostly, though, I think the whole "acting lesbian" thing is just another way that women exercise their considerable power over gynosexual men.
oh, it has backfired a couple of times, when the guy was too drunk or stupid to take a hint, but usually one of his buddies would step in and explain things. The club I hang out in is home to a lot of "trendy" lesbians, kids who think it's cool to pin another girl to the wall and kiss her in a way that I would not want to see no matter what the sex of the participants. Part of it is the shock value and being "cool" that these kids are after....
oh, it has backfired a couple of times, when the guy was too drunk or stupid to take a hint, but usually one of his buddies would step in and explain things. The club I hang out in is home to a lot of "trendy" lesbians, kids who think it's cool to pin another girl to the wall and kiss her in a way that I would not want to see no matter what the sex of the participants. Part of it is the shock value and being "cool" that these kids are after....