They'll never let you be the next Lileks if you keep whining like that, Esmay.

I'm not whining. I'm noting some karmic justice. Meryl's habit of launching vicious, vitriolic, and unfair attacks on people--such as her unprovoked personal attacks on my wife, and her vicious distortions of things I've said and done--is now finally biting her on the ass. I hope she's learning a little humility from the experience, and maybe something about simple human decency.

Oh, and by the way, Mithras: Trolling isn't allowed here, so if you insult me or anyone else like that here again, I'll have to ask you to leave.

Um, Dean, I'm really sorry to inform you of this, but I slept perfectly well last night, and I'm not beating my breast over Easterbrook losing his job. While I feel bad for him, he told me during our phone call that he takes full responsibility for it and doesn't blame me at all. But I guess you're a better judge of who is to blame than the man who wrote the words that got him fired.

I'm also failing to see how that is "karmic justice." Let's see, I write something and someone else gets fired? Aren't I the one who's supposed to suffer in order for justice to be served?

And, here we go again. My "unprovoked attack" you followed your post titled "Special Message To Judith Weiss, Meryl Yourish, and Susan B. Anthony," in which you said, and I quote:

"So, for Judith Weiss, Meryl Yourish, and all the other resentful feminists I know..."

You started the ball rolling with an insult, Deano. You didn't like what happened when it was in my court. And you cannot take disagreement at all. You confuse it with criticism. That's your problem, not mine.

By the way, my recollection of that chat room thing is that you kept barging in uninvited, insisting that I talk with you when I was having quite a nice girl talk chat with two other women, and I, well, left. Perhaps next time you won't drink and chat. It reflects poorly on you, and apparently also affects your memory.

Just let it go, Dean. Not everyone is going to like you. People are going to move on in your life.

Get. Over. It.

Sure sounds like whining to me. And you don't have to ask. I'm outa here. Permanently.

I think you're being unfair to Meryl, Dean. I would hardly call it habit that launches "vicious, vitriolic, and unfair attacks on people," in fact, she very rarely does something like that.

If Gregg Easterbrook can let it go and if he takes full responsibility for his actions, I don't see why you are still getting on Meryl.

I'd like to see you go after Roger Simon like that; after all, he "launched" the attack on Easterbrook first.

"...acting more like children/than children..."

You started the ball rolling with an insult, Deano.

Bullshit, Meryl. It started with your rude, snotty remarks about a chat I had with a friend, that I posted as, "Women, A Fun Conversation," wherein we made observations that many proud, strong feminist women found insightful, and wrote to tell me they enjoyed the hell out of reading. But you were sarcastic and rude about it. Mind you, you couldn't just disagree, you had to act outraged that anyone would even express these thoughts, would dare to post them publicly. Then there was even more rudeness from you on a perfectly innocuous discussion I hosted, "Women: What Do You Like About Men?"

So I decide to take all this in a spirit of bonhomie, not get my feelings hurt, and just rib you a little. Just like when you posted a note on your weblog comparing my name to Piglatin. But in response, what do you do? You go after me, and by extension my wife, by saying I had "a problem" with strong women. Then you sent email to others, smearing me by claiming I'd launched an unprovoked attack on you. God knows how many people got such notes. Fortunately, one of them was kind enough to send me copies.

And yet, when I foolishly, and sincerely, tried apologizing, thinking it was just a spat between friends that got out of hand--and even though you owed me and Rose as big an apology at least (and still do, by the way)--I got no response, except for snotty comments from people who'd never visited this blog before, never saw the early conversations, but came to tell me what a bad person I was. Where did these people come from? Oh yeah, they read the snotty half-truths on your blog, and decided to tell me off, call me names, distort what I said, and even outright misquote me. Don't think you bear no responsibility for that crap either, because you do.

As for the chat room: no Meryl, that was a public chat room, and you threw a hissy fit because I wanted to be in that room--a room I had used many, many times to relax and gather with friends on my night off. To add insult to injury, it wasn't the first time I had someone suggest that I should stay out of there just because you'd be in there and might raise a fuss.

Jesus. How very High School of you, Meryl. Nice cheap shot about the drinking, too, by the way. Feh. Typical.

Taking responsibility for one's words? Try it some time, Meryl. You could start by apologizing to me, and to Rosemary, instead of attacking and distorting the record yet again.

Get over yourself, you fucking bully.

Lynn: You want to leave because I called out a bully on her indecent behavior? Don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out, girlfriend.

Michele: Hey, I linked to criticisms of Roger Simon. But I don't know Simon. I do know Meryl, at least in the online sense, and unlike some people, I consider those I deal with online to be legitimate friends and/or colleagues---and I understand that you can hurt someone's feelings this way as well as any other.

Meryl has been exceptionally nasty to me and to Rosemary--and is still at it. As are people like Lynn, who automatically jump to Meryl's defense without even trying to listen to our side.

If I want to take some pleasure in Meryl Yourish's well-deserved embarassment, I'm going to. She's been completely indecent toward us, and we never deserved it. We still don't.

David: Feh. I'm not the one who's distorting the record and libeling others, and I'm not the one who's refused to apologize for bad behavior. It takes two to tango, but jesus...

Oh, please. Here we go again. Tell you what. Your readers can go here and scroll up and read for themselves. Because it's obvious that all you're going to do is continue to whine and stomp your feet and throw insults.

By the way, your post on resentful feminists came before I responded to the post on Kate's chat. This is all I wrote before you came out slugging. Check the dates.

Once again, your facts are incorrect. Once again, I'm sure you'll take that statement as an insult.

Yeah. What-EVER.

I don't take that statement as an insult at all, Meryl.

I just think you're being mean-spirited and unfair. You're also forgetting online chats we had, and comments you left on other weblogs that won't be in that archive of yours. Where you said things like, "You're pissing me off, and I'm going to get you on my weblog." And where I laughed, saying that was okay, because I thought we were just being in the spirit of an online debate, and nothing would be taken too personally.

Fencing. In the spirit of two adversaries who respected each other.

Because that was when we were, you know. "Friends." Virtual friends anyway. Before you decided there was no such thing as an online friendship.

Any time--any time--you could have sent me a note saying, "You know Dean, this is getting too personal, can we back off a little?" Or even just, "Christ, Dean, you're being a real asshole, do you think I deserve that?"

I always respected you and your writing. I just thought we were having fun. I really did.

You know, whatever Meryl. You've been a fucking bully about this but if you'd treated me like a human being and just talked to me, rather than treating me like a pariah and personally attacking me and my wife (an innocent non-combatant), we wouldn't be here. But you know, it's your choice.

It always has been your choice.

And, for the record? It still is your choice. I just can't deal with being treated like a pariah. Call it a personal quirk, a weakness. Maybe even whiny self-indulgence. But I consider it mean-spirited, bullying behavior, and I won't stop saying so. You want to respond by saying, "Dean's just a pussy who can't take it when someone won't talk to him and shuns him instead?" Yeah. Go right ahead. Maybe I'm just a pathetic loser that way.

Either way: Pax, babe. I still don't hate you, and I still wonder what the fuck I did to deserve all this.

Perhaps I'm just a clueless man It wouldn't be the first time.

(And yes, you may call me "babe" back. I can deal with it. Can you?)