Those of you who know me know that I absolutely love conspiracy theories.
A good conspiracy theory is a highly rationalized work of art. It is an impressively refined, carefully constructed form of reasoning that requires a great deal of careful thought and specialized knowledge--in the same way that liquor is a highly refined, carefully constructed form of sugar.
It is, quite possibly, the highest form of madness man has ever achieved.
Having said that, I honestly believe that conspiracism based on something very positive in the human mind:
Inference.
Scott McCloud would call it "closure," but I call it inference. It's that truly remarkable human ability to reason from incomplete information. At its most functional, it gives us mathematics, scientific theories, engineering, diplomacy, medicine, and countless other wonderful things.
This same exact capacity also leads us to paranoia, irrational anger and resentment, and mind-bogglingly stupid ideas. Which are things that all human beings (with the exception of your humble correspondent, of course) fall prey to.
At its very worst, the negative side of our ability of inference leads to breathtaking destruction and even murder. Stalin's belief that capitalists and Trotskyists were responsible for "sabotaging" the Soviet economy led him to murder about 20 million people during his political career, and to savagely repress tens of millions more. Paranoid fears of a worldwide Zionist conspiracy, first promulgated by the Russian secret police in the late 19th century, led directly to the Holocaust and quite a few problems that the Jews face around the world to this day.
Conspiracy theories are often developed over time by some very clever people. If you're thinking of the demented character Mel Gibson played in that movie (Conspiracy Theory), you're missing a major part of the story. Some conspiracy theorists are moody loners, but many fit comfortably into the everyday world. They may work as teachers, lawyers, or in other respected professions.
Good conspiracy theorists are smart. They tend to amass collections of facts and assertions that build on their pet theories. Often, one theorist will take ideas and assertions made by another theorist, and build on them. Some breathtakingly elaborate edifices are often built this way. They can even span generations: the Zionist Conspiracy theory is now a bit over 100 years old, and still going strong.
You should understand, too, that the conspiracy theorist is not attempting to trick you. The first person tricked is usually the conspiracy theorist himself. He's reasoned his way into something interesting, he's gathered a lot of data that seems to support it, and he can find ways to fit new facts into his theories. As each new fact comes to light, he adds it in. "More proof!" he says to himself, with a little thrill.
But what if a fact comes along that doesn't fit the conspiracy theory? Does it all collapse? Hardly. One of two things usually happens:
1) If the new fact does not completely refute the core theory, then the theory will be lightly or subtly altered.
2) The fact will be obscured in a blizzard of rationalizations: those who report the fact are fools who don't see the "real truth" or are not telling "the whole story" or have "overlooked something." Maybe those reporting the inconvenient fact are lying and are part of the conspiracy itself.
In short: Conspiracy theorists are not stupid, or intentionally deceitful. They've simply fallen prey to a subtle form of madness.
So, how can you spot a conspiracy theorist? Usually, you'll see a large and complicated array of facts and events that seem to be connected by one convenient explanation.
Also, certain groups are likely to come up. The Bilderberg Group, the Trilateral Commission, the CIA, the Zionists, the Freemasons, the Catholic Church and/or the Pope, the United Nations, the British Royal Family, and the Rockefeller family seem to be the most commonly mentioned nowadays. Also look for mentions of fictional groups like the Council of 13 or the Committee of 300, or long-dead groups like the Knights Templars or the Bavarian Illuminati.
But there's one tipoff that almost never fails: the belief in shadowy figures who are secretly controlling things, or "pulling the puppet strings." Conspiracy theorists usually believe that mostly-unseen characters are controlling world events, and have been for some time. It's that shadowy unknown, the secret agenda, that's your biggest tipoff.
Yes, in the real world, secrets are kept. Powerful people commit crimes that they try to cover up. Intelligence agencies do things we don't always know about and may not always approve of. All of that is true. But when you hear stories implying that countless seemingly unrelated things can be explained by the workings of one powerful group, you've got a big, fat, neon-red flag there. Watch for it.
I find that learning about conspiracy theories is a lot of fun. If you want a fast start on learning about some of the more popular conspiracy theories, you should check out the
As you read, you'll find that some conspiracy theories are hilarious. Others are beautiful for their seductive logic. Sometimes, you may even laugh nervously and think, "Oh yeah, I kind of used to believe something like that, didn't I?"
Don't worry about that last one. It just means you're an open-minded human who probably has a healthy capacity for drawing inferences. Laugh at yourself! And at what fools these mortals be.
One thing you may notice on Dean's World: I like poking fun at conspiracy theories. I love to read about, talk about, and joke about them. But if you've ever seen me talk in conspiracy-minded tones, please know this: I'm kidding.
Or that's what I'd like you to think, anyway...
One of the few useful things I learned in my undergrad years is the flaw in a paranoid's delusion. There's always one element, usually the first, of their delusion that is lacking any basis in reality. But, if accepted as true, the rest of the delusion is highly logical.
I always keep that in mind when reading conspiracy theories.
Combustible Boy over on Max Power's blog is in a despairing funk over the prevalence of conspiracy-theoretic reasoning in the world press, and worries that this might now be the default way that people think about the United States. I've been trying to cheer him up but have episodes of the same despair myself...
Well, of course as we all remember from Dr. Strangelove, the Russkies were out to pollute our precious bodily fluids, by fluoridating our water. That's why we have to preserve our "Purity of Essence"! Likewise on The X-Files, that black oil that would get into people's bodies. Remember, one part of the conspiracy on that show was a government project known as Purity Control...
And who was the dude (in real life) who was running for the Montana state legislature, and he'd taken so much colloidal silver that it had turned his skin permanently blue?
Ever notice how many conspiracy theorists are "nature cure quacks"?
But it's no laughing matter, when you consider how the US Constitution has been suspended, ever since FDR assumed emergency powers back in the early 1930's. Or when you consider how gold and silver have been displaced by unconstitutional paper funny-money, dating back to that secret meeting on Jeckyll Island, which led to the formation of the conspiracy-controlled Federal Reserve System. And what's that with all the Masonic symbolism on the back of the dollar bill?!
Yep, ever since Adam Weisshaupt formed the Illuminati, you see, there's been this conspiracy... Or was that something to do with the Rothschilds?
Now if you get hauled into the courts for nonpayment of your (unconstitutional) federal income taxes or whatever, you'll find you're not even in a constitutional court of law, you're in something called an "admiralty court," which is run by the Conspiracy. Such courts can be readily identified by the presence of an American flag with a yellow fringe. I remember listening to one militia-oriented program on shortwave radio a few years back, they explained how you can beat these courts. Namely, simply declare, "I do not accept the jurisdiction of this court, and I will not approach the bar." Then the judge will say, "Darn! Then we don't have any power over you, and we'll have to let you go!"
Yep, heard on this program on shortwave.
See, Dubya is just itchin' to finish the work his old man started, turning us over to the dominion of the New World Order, complete with helmeted UN troops stationed in Small Town USA, and bar codes tattooed on your forehead or right hand with ultra-violet ink. You won't be permitted to buy or sell food without this bar code tattoo. Though there's a verse somewhere in the Book of Revelation which provides some simple statement you can make, and then the minions of the UN will say, "Darn! You found the secret loophole, now we've got to sell you food!"
(Bush's "problems" with the UN over Iraq were merely a clever ploy, intended to fool us into thinking he's not in cahoots with the United Nations. Just as the alleged "collapse" of Communism was nothing but smoke and mirrors, to keep us from realizing that Russia is still under the iron Stalinist fist of the Communist Party...)
As for Bill Clinton, he was a puppet of a rival tentacle of the conspiracy. And you don't want to cross Bill Clinton, you know what happened to his dentist, his chiropractor, the head of his Arkansas security detail, the guy who found an endorsed Whitewater check in the trunk of a used car, and about 68 other people who got in Clinton's way. Usually by way of a severed brake line on a car, or a severed fuel line on a small plane, though there were suicides with gunshot to the back of the head, and one fellow mysteriously flung himself through a plate glass window from a twelfth-floor apartment.
And there's an explanation for why Y2K fizzled, really, there is... You see, the real doomsday date is when the cycles of the Mayan calendar run out, in December 2012... As Mulder discovered inside that secret mountain base in the series finale of The X-Files, that's also the date set for the coming alien invasion of Earth...
I've seen a few court pleadings by the yellow fringe set. Pretty interesting reading, now that they've cracked the code...you know the one used by the judges who wear the black robes of the Magi and the attorneys who are required to swear allegiance to Satan when we join the Bar.
You'd think being a disciple of Satan would have more perks, but I've really not found that to be the case.
Paul,
December 2012, did you say? Let me see...
That will be about the time President Hilary Clinton will be preparing for the inaugural of her second term.
Just in time for a real masculine commander in chief to inspire the armed forces of the United States and our allies to whip ET's ass in the final battle for the planet.
(I wonder how long it takes to learn Uranian or Martian, or whevever they speak, and settle in for a long occupation?)
Arnold Harris
Mount Horeb WI
Dean,
Seems to me there's yet a third thing that often happens when facts appear to contradict a conspiracy theory: the contradictory information is taken as evidence that the conspiracy is far more subtle, complex, pervasive and sinister than previously thought, and the contradictory information ends of causing an expansion of the conspiracy theory.
I can't cite any examples, but it seems to me I've seen this happen.
Then again, it may just all be a conspiracy...
My maternal grandfather was an absolute conspiracy freak, of the Mormon Survivalist, the CFR/Trilateral commision are secretly ruling the world stripe, so I was exposed to the madness from a very tender age (conception!)
And Paul, in your mini-survey of the field above, you forgot about Area 51 and the black helicopters!!
Oh, it gets a lot more esoteric than that. My favorite one, explained in C. C. Pawlicki's book _How to Build a Flying Saucer_: The reason the Titus-Bode law for planetory orbit radii is downplayed as a mere coincidence by astronomers is to hide the fact that the Titus-Bode progression comes from the nodes in a bull's-eye pattern of gigantic standing gravitational waves in the solar system, much as sand collects in the Chladni nodes of a violin plate; and if the existence of this "spacic energy" were generally known, everyone could build garage-based free power taps and defeat Big Oil. This is also why the physicists have made general relativity hard to learn. A similar phenomenon explains acupunture meridians.
My favorite conspiracies are always the ones that I would have had to be a part of at some point.
When I was about 20, I read a book called "The Unseen Hand", a compilation of the conspiracy theory of history. This book began with the Illuminati in 1776 in France (of all places) and attempted to weave a coherent argument for believing in a vast worldwide conspiracy.
On one hand, I believe in a world wide conspiracy based on my religious beliefs, i.e. there is an evil force in the world attempting world domination, and we must resist that evil force. On the other hand, I do not believe in a vast man-made conspiracy. I think mankind is tempted to do evil by indulging in his own lusts, and is corrupted by the evil power to accomplish things he otherwise would not want.
The lusts for power, money, and sex are powerful motivating factors. The founding fathers of our country recognized that trying to stamp out these lusts (a la Prohibition and Islamic puritanism) is spitting in the wind. So they devised a system where people's selfish desires would compete in such a manner as to moderate those influences. Thus, competition of evil conflicting desires has the effect of minimizing evil. Genius!
I understand the desire to put a human face on the evil we confront in our lives. After all, many Hollywood movies are built upon this good vs. evil premise. It is timeless and will always remain so.
But a bigger motivation of those who choose to believe in the conspiracies is the feeling of being an outsider. If you are on the outside, and you obviously possess the talent, and drive equal to those you perceive to be more successful than you, then ipso facto, there MUST be a conspiracy.
It is a form of self-delusion designed to justify your own failures and/or others greater levels of success. It is also debilitating in that you cannot overcome the conspiracy, so you have an excuse to fail. It absolves you of self-examination to see what it is in you that might be hindering your own success.
I firmly believe most people in a free society are there own worst enemies. There is a Country song by Clint Black that has a line, "Where ever you go, there you are. You can run from yourself, but you won't get far." Indulging in conspiracy theories is escapism at best, and self-defeating delusion at its core.
Dean:
I don't think it's inference that makes people believe in conspiracies. I think it's anthropomorphism.
Look at children's literature. All those bunnies and such who are just like humans. Look at a lot of ads aimed at children: toasters with human faces and personalities, e.g. We seem to have an inborn need to believe that things are persons, and that things behave the way they do out of will rather than necessity.
Thus the essence of all conspiracy theories is the belief that things happen because someone wanted them to happen. You start with this assumption, and then you observe the world and find that things are happening that no one was working for. AHA! THE PEOPLE WHO MADE THESE THINGS HAPPEN ARE CONCEALING THEMSELVES! It must be true, because everything happens because someone wanted it to happen.
It's after that the inference kicks in, as the conspiratorialist tries to track down the hidden actors he knows MUST be there.
I must admit, Stephen, you have a very good point.
Although I do think there are degrees of conspiracism. So many may just fall into it due to the fact that they've pieced together something logical. But I would have to agree that many conspiracists do indeed fall into that "everything must have an explanation" mold.
Indeed, conspiracists have a phrase they like to use: they refer to "the accidental view of history." As in, the worldview that major things simply happen by coincidence or accident.
Some even admit to being constitutionally incapable of believing in that view of history.
The worst case of it I ever saw was a Canadian cartoonist named Dave Sim (no relation to Dave Sims of the Clubbeaux blog), who publicly admitted that he found it impossible to believe in coincidences. Then noted that Margaret Thatcher lost her position as Prime Minister in the UK the same week that an issue of his comic book came out where he published a vicious satire of Thatcher.
Rather than admit that this had to be coincidence, he was simply trying to understand how his comic book had influenced these events.
Madness.
Let's take a look at www.usmc.mil, read an article how the pentagon is considering cutting back Army/Air Force in Germany from 40,000 to a possible 10,000. The closing of numerous installations inorder to create a more manuverable, rapidily response to threats. They make seek new bases in Poland as well...also consider on the inside that the HQ Marines Corps is planning a cut back of 86 MOS (Military occupational Specialties) they want to replace Marines with DOD civillian personnel so as to improve the Combat Readiness.....think about it, the storm has only begun....
The problem, of course, is that there actually have been conspiracies. In the sixteenth century, there was one conspiracy after another to assassinate (or at the very least imprison) Elizabeth I and replace her with Mary, Queen of Scots. Notably they all failed, but conspiracies have succeeded. Al Quaeda's activities of September 11, 2001 were an example of a successful conspiracy. And gave rise to other conspiracy theories. Anti-conspiracists always like to point out that it's almost impossible for even a small group of people to keep a secret which is why so many conspiracies have failed. Logically then, if Sept. 11 happened, it was because of a government conspiracy to let it happen...which of course we will soon uncover because it's impossible for even a small group of people to keep a secret. This is part of the problem. Conspiracies have existed and probably still do, so we can't completely discount them. The trick, I suppose, is knowing when to stop. Especially if it's fun.