Dean's World: Enormous Organism

.:: Dean's World: Enormous Organism ::.

March 28, 2003

Enormous Organism

Scientists yesterday released data suggesting that a certain tree fungus is, in fact, one single gigantic organism that's between 2000 and 8500 years old. It's raising serious questions about the definition of the word "organism," and even more serious questions about forestry management practices. Fascinating stuff.

Posted by dean | PermaLink | TrackBack (0)

Discuss This Article!

Whew. For a minute there I thought this was going to be another diatribe about Ted Kennedy. ;)

Posted by CGHill on March 28, 2003 at 8:29 AM

Ah, she's faking it!

Posted by Skylar Coalfax on March 28, 2003 at 9:33 AM

It's a fucking Ent, you people!

Posted by Ara Rubyan on March 28, 2003 at 11:58 PM

Ah, but there are things that look like Ents, but ain't... :)

Posted by Casey Tompkins on March 29, 2003 at 12:40 AM

Jeez, try to bring a little scientific knowledge to the savages, and see where it gets ya...

Posted by Dean Esmay on March 30, 2003 at 1:42 AM

Well, Dean, with a title like "Enormous Organism", what do you expect? :)

She's got huge tracts of land...

Posted by Casey Tompkins on March 30, 2003 at 2:09 PM

Well, instead of whimpering over this damned thing, or worshiping it, or -- more characteristic of contemporary US culture -- making a spooky feature film about it...

Why not just dig up some of it, dry it out and see if can be fed to the hogs. Better yet, see if it can be poured on TexMex chili for an exotic spice.

If it walks, talks, crawls, vegetates or just plain exists, it ought to be put to work just like everybody and everything else in this world.

Arnold Harris
Mount Horeb WI

Posted by Arnold Harris on March 30, 2003 at 7:04 PM

Arnold, TexMex chili is an exotic spice. Adding anything else would be redundant, if not blasphemous (at least south of the Mason-Dixon line). :)

Posted by Casey Tompkins on March 30, 2003 at 10:51 PM

Chili isn't Tex-Mex, ya damn idjits. Chile is TEXAS, end-of-word. I should kick yer ass in the sacred name of Stephen Austin fer that.

And you just try to put some damned tree fungus in my chile and ysee what happens to ya, I tell you what...

Posted by Dean Esmay on March 30, 2003 at 11:13 PM

Okay, Tex. You too, Casey.

Forget about drying out this Oregon fungus, crap, grinding it up and ruining our authentic Texas chili. Got a better idea.

You know how these crazy tree-hugger ladies like to make love to redwoods and other somesuch. Give them a chance to show how serious they are about protecting the environment. Take a bunch of them out to the clammier parts of the Oregon rain forest, on whichever side of the Cascades it rains incessantly. Dig some nice pits around the 2200 sq mile 8500 year old fungus organism. Stick one tree lady down in each pit with a blanket and some sort of absorbent ground sheet. To sleep amid the big friendly fungus organism. Let it get even friendlier with each of them. Anyone who likes plants that much ought to be willing to help fertilize them. Right? The one who emerges after 30 days encoiled in the most organism gets the Protectress of the Humongous Fungus (PHF) prize.

Has anyone turned anything like this into a screenplay and sold it to one of the studios?

Echhhh...

Arnold Harris
Mount Horeb WI

Posted by Arnold Harris on March 31, 2003 at 3:52 PM

Um, wasn't that the original plot of "The Invaders?"

Posted by Casey Tompkins on April 02, 2003 at 3:15 PM

Did somebody say Washington?

Posted by hidanapie on July 04, 2003 at 3:36 PM

Hummm, I'm thinking we're off track all of a sudden. . .

Posted by Figgy Ziznawicz on December 11, 2003 at 12:34 AM