I feel for you. It's Hard to believe how normal intelligent people can somehow become complete idiots in certain situations.

I always try to express my frustration to the tech person by saying "look I know its not your fault, but i am getting very frustrated and your the representative from this company. so i am expressing my frustration to you." I usually feel this can soften the blow before I really get rude.

Sir!
Hear hear! I work in customer service, and have for most of my adult life. Basicaly I want to help people, but if they don't _help_ me help them, I've no incentive. Just about everything you wrote is aplicalbe to in-store service as well...

Okay, Internet Tools. Now what. By the way, I already tried folding the floppy disk to make it fit into the narrow drive so don't ask me to do it again.

Dean, I feel you.

I broke the foot pedal.

Help me. NOW!

Oops, I broke off that coffee cup holder that pops out of the computer...

An awful lot of customer support issues are caused by bad product design and/or bad documentation. It's not a bad idea to require all product designers, product managers, and especially tech writers to spend a few days in customer support...

Customer support can also be a great source of info as to what needs to be changed in products and processes. There is at least some attempt in most tech companies to use it for this; however, in other industries (I'm thinking retail here), the main orientation seems to be to say "I feel your pain" and get the call to go away, without finding out what they could learn from it.

Dean,

I am an OVERQUALIFIED customer, so when I get a Tech Support SHMUCK who treats me like a 2 year old. I'm gonna be pissed off! Sure on some occasions you're going to field a call from a totally untechnical person who doesn't even know how to work a mouse, but alot of times you'll get a call from someone like me who wants to LEARN what I did wrong. Thats what tech SUPPORT is, you are HELPING a PAYING CUSTOMER of your product. Is it my fault as a customer that the tech support area doesn't have a way to TRACK the work done for me?

I've called tech support and I've been bounced around to 4 different people in one call. So by the time the 4TH one ASKS the SAME FREAKING QUESTIONS the other 3 did, I'm gonna be pissed. Its NOT my JOB to be nice to you! It is YOUR JOB to be nice to ME, no matter how WRONG I AM. Have you ever heard that stupid motto "THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!". That is the general problem with TECH support.

They feel they are TOO overqualified for the Job (when only a small percentage actually are.)and we as CUSTOMERS should just listen to them and TRUST them because they KNOW ALL! Thats BULLSH*T! Do you know I actually had some Techno Weenie Support dude tell me that I had to REFORMAT my Hard Drive and install their game FRESH, so it runs better?? Thats another problem with Tech Support, they are only FOCUSED on their product. So the end result is a call to Tech Support for another product that the other Tech Support guy broke.

Not all Tech Support guys are as over qualified as you. Believe me, I know your qualifications and it is true that you are. I know that, you know that, your Blog fans know that, but Joe Schmoe Customer doesn't! It is their RIGHT to question anything you want done of THEIR system.

As a professional, its YOUR JOB to not get flustered with an irate customer. Also slowing down your support because you are mad that they are rude, is UNPROFESSIONAL on your part.

Is it possible youre upset because the company you work for has a "one call and fixed" policy?

Some companies track phone numbers and if the number calls more than once it goes against the first tech guy who couldn't help?

If thats the case, I can see youre mad because the dude hung up on you without giving you a chance.

Jerry

TO: Dean
RE: Tech Support

I try not to be rude. I really do. But it seems that on some occassions I really do come up against a TS type who is either clueless or something worse.

There was the first incident, years ago, with MS, where I spent over an hour on the phone at MY expense explaining what was happening.

Finally the techie said, "OHHH! That... Yeah, that's a known bug. Nothing you can do about it."

An hour? At MY expense? And I wasn't speaking a foreign language. And they knew English as their mother tongue.

I got rude real quickly. And now I don't touch MS products.

Regards,

Chuck(le)

7 years ago I was 3rd tier tech support writing training materials for lower techs. About as annoying as the dumb customers were the newer techs who wanted every problem to be solved by rote. As a consumer today when I get these techs (the ones who want everything to go by rote) it kills me.

I know what it's like to take 200 calls in an 8 hour period and how it can get monotanous. However, once I've established that I'm not a dumbass (not by bragging) by smartly and quickly following a tech's instructions, why can't they also adjust their instructions? Do I really need them to say "go to the tools menu up at the top...scroll down to..." everytime?

Yes, thank you sir, I know where the internet options are and I know for the 8th time tonight you're going to have me clear my cache and completely screw up all my saved logins and passwords that 7 years ago I could remember, but today really don't give a crap about.

So to all you techs who stick to the script no matter what -- here's my advice: RELAX. Go for a beer once in awhile. Get laid. Anything! Just stop looking at your computer screen so much.

Its NOT my JOB to be nice to you!

Yes, it is. It is your job to act like a civilized human being. If you act like an ignorant savage, expect to be treated like one.

It is YOUR JOB to be nice to ME, no matter how WRONG I AM.

No, it isn't. It's the tech's job to fix your computer. It's not his job to suck your dick. You're not paying enough for that, chump.

I'm not a tech support person, but I have a great deal of sympathy for them, or anyone who has to work in customer service; there are far too many people like Jerry out there. How much you wanna bet that waiters spit in Jerry's soup on a regular basis?

Generally speaking, by the time I get around to calling tech support I'm truly angry at the product or service. This makes it difficult to be polite. What I try to do is assure the TS people that I'm not blaming them but rather ranting at the situation and/or the company. I want to make sure that they know that *I* know they are not to blame. If it's really bad I simply ask at the very start to move up the chain to people who are paid to take heat. I'll ask to bypass first level all together.

I do wish the TS people would step away from their scripts when ending calls like that though. Ending a call from somebody like me with "Have a nice day and thank you for using (insert product or service here)" is a sure way to get a very rude response.

[Rant Mode: ON]
I have to agree with Niccolo. One of the reasons I will never work in a customer service role if I can avoid it is exactly because of self-important, know-it-all, you-must-lick-my-boots-because-I'm-a-customer type like ol' Jerry up there. I'd end up in jail, though with a satisfied smile on my face.

Some customers are not worth the trouble to keep and are best sent elsewhere (one hopes to frustrate your competitor's staff and waste their staff's time). Sadly, we've become a selfish society where some people believe it's their god given right to be waited on hand-and-foot because "the customer is always right." Hogwash! I've stood in line behind these cretins, I'm surprised these "customers" can actually dress themselves much less be "always right." You see what happens when we tinker with evolution? We've made the world too safe. The natural "heard thinning" mechanisms are broken like bad sewer pipes and we're up to our eyes in crap! :)

Fortunately most people, though, are generally pretty reasonable I think. They rest get waiters spitting in their soup and have nasty techs telling them to format their hard drive out of spite. hah

[Rant Mode: OFF]

Jerry,

If you're so overqualified, why are you callin tech support to begin with?

I left behind TS long ago, but here's my favorite:

Me: Ok, Do you see Tools?
Customer: Yes
Me: Click it.
Customer: Right click, or left click?
Me: Left click.
Customer: A menu popped up
Me: Do you see "Internet Options?
Customer: Yes
Me: Click it
Customer: Right click, or left click?
Me: Left click. Every time I say click I mean left-click, OK?
Customer: OK
Me: OK, do you see "Security?"
Customer: Yes
Me: Click it
Customer. Right click, or left click?

And yes, it's everyone's job to be nice to everyone else. Yes, even if you're upset. Be nice! (And left click)

I have been on both sides of this, as a tech support engineer (and later manager) and as a customer. There is plenty of bad behavior to go around.

I solve the issue by not believing in the concept of tech support. There is only one kind of support that a company provides: customer service. The job of every person in every company is to make money for the company. Companies do not make money if their customers are unhappy. By extension, if I run into a company janitor and ask where to get help about problem X, I expect the janitor to help me. It may be that the extent of his helpfulness is to walk me over to someone with a phone and a company phonebook, and I'm fine with that as long as he is doing everything he can to help me.

I used to work for Michaels' Stores, as the Technical Services Manager. This means that I was in the business of keeping the backend systems and applications running - stuff the customer never sees. There were times that I'd be in the store shopping, and a customer would ask me for help. Now I couldn't find my way around the store, but I certainly get the customer to someone who could, and I would not hesitate to do so.

I currently work for Bank of America. I just came back from a business trip to Chicago. It should be fairly clear that I don't work in any of the branches. I sat next to a gentleman on the flight out, and as we were talking it came up that I work for the Bank. Wayne, for that was his name, described a problem he was having with his local branch, and did not know where to turn for help. When we landed, I got out my cell phone and called an associate who had access to the corporate directory, who found the number which the customer could call to get help.

All of this is, by example, to show that it is the responsibility of every employee of a company to help any customer of that company in any way possible. I realize that there are customers who are rude and even hostile. Generally, I find that this is because they keep getting the runaround and getting bad solutions. (Don't get me started on my recent run-in with tech support at Charter Cable!!) As an example, if you require me to enter a 12 digit account number into your call routing system, you had better have that integrated with your customer service systems so that the first question out of the tech's mouth is not, "May I have your customer number, please?"

I guess what I'm really trying to get at is that the circumstances for rude customers are generally set up by rude companies. It sucks to be the guy on the receiving end of the pissed-off customer, but the reality is that most customers do not get pissed off easily, and if you get them at that point, retaliation is not the way to keep their business. As a representative of your company, it is imperative to remember that even monopolies have competition from "none of the above.'

That said, Dean is correct that it doesn't pay to be rude to the poor guy on the phone. I find it much more effective to, in the course of the call, determine who the executive over tech support is, and call his office to be rude. (After, that is, my problem has been solved. Just in case...)

Jerry, pet, the reason we in tech support ask the simple questions is because we don't know you, we don't know anything about you. We don't know if you're capable of getting through an ordinary day without toddling out in traffic or if sticking your tongue in those oh-so-inviting wall sockets is a favorite hobby.

And this may come as a total shock, but we don't particularly care either. It's our job to fix your problem, and none of us are psychic, so when we ask you if your email client is set to authenticate it's because we really freaking want to know, not because we're enjoying the dulcet tones of your voice or your complete lack of digital eloquence.

Oh my, this brings back such memories!

Jerry, you're never going to look at your soup the same way again, are you? Nor should you, since I'm sure Niccolo is quite right.

Here's a hint from a computer guy who has been on both sides of the fence. When you're the one CALLING, there's no point in telling the tech what a brilliant guy/gal you are, because the last 10 calls the tech's taken have been from brilliant people who knew all about computers (except it turns out that maybe they didn't know QUITE as much as they thought they did).

Now the truth is that you may BE brilliant, but the tech can't know that. My tech support days are long behind me now, but I can't tell you how many times I had to wrestle with a "brilliant" customer to convince him to take a simple step which they SWORE they'd already done and WOULDN'T FIX ANYTHING, but when finally taken, magically fixed the problem.

So when he tells you to take the first simple diagnostic step, it's in your best interest to humor him. He won't believe you when you claim to have already done it, because the hundred calls before you have established that you're either confused (and thus did it incorrectly) or lying (and thus didn't do it at all). If, on the other hand, you cooperate and take the steps you know won't help, you'll establish a level of trust with the tech, and he's likely to take what you say more seriously as the call goes on. You'll also get to the point of doing things that might actually fix the problem MUCH FASTER.

Oh, and by the way, tech support people can HEAR. If they tell you to type a word or two, and they hear you typing a novel, it's not much of a leap for them to guess that YOU'RE NOT DOING WHAT THEY TOLD YOU TO DO! That is an excellent way to LOSE the trust referred to previously.

Now, my all time favorite call. This is in the early days of Windows, and I'm trying to tell this customer to left-click on a menu. Just getting her to move the pointer to the right place is turning out to be a disaster, and clicking is apparently beyond us. After about 10 minutes it turns out...

...that she has the mouse upside down and is manually rolling the mouse-ball with her fingers, and reaching under the mouse to click (and since the mouse is upside down, the right button is on the left, so that's not working either!

Doing tech support is like being a teenager. You have to do it once...but once you're through it, you'll never be willing to do it again! Best of luck to you, Dean.

Yea, I know how it is. I spent 10 years in technical support before finally going insane and switching fields.

To this day I *hate* talking on the phone - I won't answer the phone at home - I'll just check for messages later.

My advice? Get out while you can!!!!!

I have another tip for people calling tech support. If you install a firewall on your computer, LEARN HOW TO CONFIGURE THE DAMN THING! I get calls every single day that are solved by disabling the firewall. It's not my job to tell you how to configure it, ditto for your router. However, if you're nice to me I'll probably help you with it. If you're a dick, you'll get the standard "We don't support that" speech.

Also, we don't give a flying fuck that you need your internet connection because you're losing "thousands of dollars" from your day trading operation. If it's that critical maybe you should spend more than $40 for a cable connection and get a T1 or something, or at least have a backup dial-up service.

The best support I ever had was from a Lotus 1-2-3 phone support person in the eighties. I made some of the mistakes that Dean wrote about, and the support guy put me in my place quick, and fixed my problem quick. I felt stupid, and even though he was still mad, I thanked him and told him he handled me correctly. So, thanks to you tech support folks! You have a tough job. Sometimes you achieve more than you realize.

I also spent several overqualified years in Tech Support.

Jerry, you are wrong. Period.

On an average day:
30% of the calls I took were from clueless people who didn't listen.
30% were from clueless people who did listen.
15% were from people who knew just enough to be dangerous and usually didn't listen.
10% had a pretty good idea of what the problem was and were easy to work with
5% needed a quick question answered or other painless issue

If you call tech support with an attitude, you will not receive the help you need and you will make a bad day even worse for the tech (there are no good days in tech support). Tech support folks aren't gods -- some of them know what they're doing, some are warm bodies to answer a phone, and you work with what you get.

I'm not surprised you get shuffled around from person to person, with the attitude you have. Why would anyone want to put up with that?

(I no longer answer my home phone either...)

One more tip, do not threaten with legal action and depositions, and the like. If you are a lawyer, woopee, WE DON'T CARE! If you know the CEO of the company, GET OFF MY PHONE AND CALL THE CEO. Our job is to help you get things working. If you want to talk to legal, there is usually some address or phone number your lawyer can contact. If you want things to get fixed, HELP US HELP YOU, threats do nobody any good, and makes most folks uneasy, all that they are going to want to do is get you off the phone.

Jerry,

I answer the phones at a big ol' 911 Center. I can't tell you how many morons know more about emergency medicine, fire fighting and law enforcement than I do, but every freakin' one of them pays taxes and is MY BOSS.

Sometimes thier arrogance and ignorance kills these fools.

I don't really get upset when that happens.

And if you are so fuckin' over qualified, what are you bothering tech support for in the first place?

Dean, I want to thank you on behalf of all of us who really appreciate the hard work.

I've had experience with various support lines. Some of the "biggies" that come to mind are Iglou internet (a fair-sized MidWest ISP; recommended), Zoomtown (Cincinnati Bell DSL ISP), and Time Warner Cable (Roadrunner).

With one exception, all of the people I've ever talked to were both very polite, and very helpful.

One thing I found somewhat irritating is that I've had to occasionally repeat my problem. But I realize that, when I've connected to someone who can't help me, I can't expect them to use some sort of Vulcan mind-meld or Jedi mind-trick to pass along what I've already told them. Heck, they may be switching me to a different state.

My approach has been determined by two main threads: one is that I've known, or talked with, enough support types to have an idea of what they go through. The other is that I've worked in restaurants as a cook for longer than I want to think about, and I've discovered that 98% of the time people will be more than willing to cut you some slack if you are honest and polite.

So, when the kitchen is going down the tubes big-time, the good servers will still get good tips by stopping by the table, seeing if everyone is ok, and explaining that the cooks are a bit behind, but are working on their food as quickly as possible. Maybe they'll see if the table might like a free appetizer if they've been waiting long enough. This gets a lot more milage than someone who ignores the table, or just says "they're working on it", when asked, or (worse yet) blames the kitchen when the server forgot to ring it in.

Same thing for support. Generally I call when something isn't working; like maybe I keep getting an error when mail program tries to access the SMTP server. I remember that at least the first stage of support people are there to filter out the simple stuff like "it is plugged in?", and "is it turned on?" I remember that they've faced an entire shift of people who call,are pissed and want something fixed now!

So I drill down to the person that may be able to help me, let them work. I don't hit them in the face with the fact that I'm majoring in Systems Analysis in a major university. Heck, I'm still a student, and they're working for a living, but I'm sure they appreciate having someone who can give them intelligent answers for once. :) Or ask intelligent questions.

Maybe we should print, in every manual, the following sentance:
IT ISN'T TECH SUPPORT'S FAULT, OK?

It isn't their fault you downloaded a trojan or virus, and didn't scan it first. It isn't their fault that you have flaky, cracked WaReZ on your system. It isn't their fault that you have One Hundred and Thirty Seven icons loaded into the system tray. It isn't their fault that you are trying to run Windows XP on a PIII with 64 megs of RAM (this happened, I swear!) It isn't their fault that XYZ company rushed out a product that wasn't fully debugged. It isn't their fault that no program can ever be truly fully debugged. And, especially for ISP support, it isn't their fault that a gateway, trunk, or logon page isn't working tonight! Eveybody get that? It's not like they run the stuff, they're just the sorry buggers who get yelled at when it doesn't work. Heck, most of the time the goobers actually running things don't tell tech support diddly.

Even when I'm really pissed about something, I've found out that just telling them I'm really upset, and I'd like to get it fixed (as opposed to screaming at them) works wonders.

I'll repeat: I've had people bend over backwards to help me, or tell me how they appreciate me, by just being civilized and polite. It's amazing. You'd almost think there was something to that wild, crazy concept of "manners." Heh...

Dear wahh: that was vicious. Funny, but vicious. Heh. :)

Dan: from the wise people who have tried to pound technical writing into my thick skull, one of the hardest things you can try to accomplish is develop effective instructions. It's amazing how we all have tons of unspoken assumptions, or "you know what I mean" sorts of ideas boiling around in our heads.

To address your comment, wouldn't it have been simpler, and more effective, just to say "left-click on Tools", then "left-click on Internet Options", and so on? Or are you being paid by the syllable? (just kidding! pulling yer leg! ok?)

i usually start my call to tech support by saying something like "I've been working with computers for 20 years so you don't have to explain how to work the mouse, but I won't complain if you ask me if I have the computer turned on. I may have overlooked something that simple."

The I do exactly what they say and answer each question completely.

This has been completely successful for me.

Can you tell that I've done tech support?

Dean, I've often wondered to what extent tech support people report back to their employers on what problems keep coming up. I would find it quite soothing to be reassured (in a non-formulaic way) that my bad experience was at least being used to make someone else's bad experience - or, indeed, a repetition of my own bad experience - less likely.

Very interesting. I can see from the profanity and smarmy condescension in the responses to Jerry's points some reasons why 'phone tech support people are so despised (and I'm not happy to say that - anyone in a job which must really, genuinely suck has my sympathy, even if he doesn't have my adulation). I never use Tech Support for my computers. I plug at it until I get it to work adequately. I don't recommend that for everybody, but it works for me. But on occasion I have to check system status - sometimes I can't do that from my end. I had a connection problem recently, and called TS to see if the system was running normally. After the normal tedious wait I was assured that it was indeed running normally. Actually it wasn't running at all. It was down for maintenance. However since it was, strictly speaking, "routine" maintenance, its inactive state was actually normal. Cute cute cute. Was TS right? Strictly and literally, yes. Was the customer impressed? Guess. Actually everybody was very polite while they gratuitously wasted my time, but I now use an ISP with no scheduled downtime. I really don't need to hang on the phone just to hear sophistry; that I can get anywhere.

Well, last time I dealt with tech support for a cable internet connection, they had me go through a long number of steps, including uninstalling and reinstalling ethernet drivers four times.

After finally getting bumped up *four* levels, it turns out they had server problems. And had known it for hours before I called. Yet my very first question when I called, and when I got bumped up each level, was "Is there a server problem?", and the answer wasn't, "I don't know" or "they don't tell us", but "no".

So, after being lied to three times, and being run through three hours of reconfigurations, reinstalls, and reboots, I *finally* learned the probelm could not be fixed on my end.

The next day, I still didn't have service. Suspicious, I switched all of my settings back to the ones I had the previous day -- I had written each one down before making the change the tech support people had requested. Service was instantly restored; they had fixed the server during the night, but the tech support people's "help" had misconfigured my software.

So, I now have my own way of dealing with tech support. If the first offered solution doesn't work, I push, at first politely and then rudely, until I'm escalated as far as I can go, and then I ask the handful of qestions I need answered to fix it on my own (if possible). Because I don't have another three hours to waste with morons on the phone misconfiguring my computer.

I can see that I'm going to have to write a followup piece, entitled, "Sucky Tech Support," about how truly awful people who run tech support centers can be, and the attitude in management that allows these horror stories to happen.

But my point was about how YOU can do better in dealing with tech support by acting decently. And you know, I have yet to hear anyone tell me about how they started getting better results by being jerks. Not that it can't happen, but I reiterate that it's rare, and that you'll usually get more from being polite but firm than by being nasty.

Ok, do not be rude.

On the other hand, be patient.

If the customer asks you to repeat yourself, then do so without being rude.

Keep in mind the customer is balancing a phone to their ear while trying to use the keyboard.

Keep in mind the customer may be trying to confirm they are doing what you tell them.

Keep in mind, especially for Internet use; the customer may be very inexperienced with Toolbars, menus, etc.

Keep in mind the Internet has been made a commodity and there are customers who think it should be as easy to fix as a telephone.

Keep in mind for the very experienced user the phone call is in total frustration and is not highly expectant of help but is calling as a last resort for possible hints.

Keep in mind that if you attempt to be nice to the customer the customer may become less frustrated and be nice to you.

Keep in mind you must be patient.

Is it possible that because you have taken this job just to get you through school that you are not focused on the customer?

Is it possible that because you feel you are very overqualified you are not committed to the type of service required for the type of people requesting your services?

Keep in mind you must be patient.

Keep in mind that computer technical support has been around for over twenty years and there has always been a frustration level for those using the computers to do their jobs but do not want to be computer hardware and/or software specialists. These people want to be accounting clerks, administrative assistants, purchasing agents, nurses, doctors, even lawyers.

Keep in mind you must be patient.

Now, if you have some hilarious anecdotes, bring them on. We who include technical support as a part of our many job functions love a good laugh now and then.

Please don't lecture me on how to do my job, or about my attitude. I've been doing various forms of tech support for about 15 years now, and I'm very good at it. I'm considered one of the best there is at my job.

Just like everything else, you get what you pay for with tech support. I'm a network engineer doing installations and troubleshooting of firewalls, email systems and whatever else gets thrown my way and I deal with tech support people several times per week.

If I'm on site at a large company that spends a bit of money on leased lines with their ISP then I get through to very competant, helpful support people quickly. If I'm on a small site where they are using DSL or ISDN then I start with the first tier and it can be frustrating. Part of the difference is that the senior support people start with the assumption that you know what you are doing or you wouldn't be calling them.

When you phone Dell you can even tell the difference between the support you get for 2000 series servers versus >4000 series servers. I dread to think what the desktop support people have to deal with.

If you have ever had the pleasure (seriously) of dealing with Microsoft's Product Support Services (PSS) you'll know what really good tech support is all about. Mind you, they charge $299 per call and will only address one issue per call. I've only needed them twice so far and both times it was money well spent.

I agree with your rules and do my best to follow them. They really do make life easier. Sometimes when a TS person tells me to do something which I know will not help and will positively farg up my system I break rule 4. It doesn't help the guy on the other end but it may get me transferred to someone smarter.

"Dan: from the wise people who have tried to pound technical writing into my thick skull, one of the hardest things you can try to accomplish is develop effective instructions. It's amazing how we all have tons of unspoken assumptions, or "you know what I mean" sorts of ideas boiling around in our heads."

A bane of technical fields, IMO, is the techie disparagement of step-by-step instructions. Writers, teachers and students all too often adopt airs of being above anything "basic." But those airs are just so much hot air as everyone has gaps in their knowledge of any subject.

Their is an art to technical writing. The best writers, IMO again, are those who can put themselves in the place of a novice.

I worked tech support for 9 years for a major computer manufacture and I can tell you being rude to the phone techs is massively counter productive no matter how valid your the reason for your anger.

Phone techs have a lot of ways of subtly punishing people who tick them off. Lots of times I found a coworker fuming in the break room while making a cup of coffee. I ask what's up and they'd say, "Got some jerk on the phone being really rude so I'm letting him cool on hold while I calm down." Techs also put less time and effort into fixing the problems of the rude.

As your issues percolates up the food chain, it will be accompanied by informal comments about your behavior. It's much better to have your case tagged with, "He's pissed as hell but polite about it," than, "This guys a complete jerk so take your time getting back to him."

Whenever I call any sort of business about something that upsets me, whether technical or otherwise, I always make it clear to the person on the phone that I am not angry at them, nor do I hold them personal responsible for the problem. Justified anger politely but firmly stated gets better results than insults every time.

I too have worked many years in tech support, mostly as a tier II tech with some help desk and documentation along the way. And I believe Jerry is indeed overqualified to be a customer on the technical support line.

It's one thing to have random faces walking into a store day-in, day-out. I've worked in corporate environments, and now a school. It's interesting to notice that most people will eventually place a name to a demeanor and learn.

When I started at the school, teachers were very demanding, and I was still learning my way around. It was very frustrating bc even though I had years of experience I was being treated like just another warm body from tech support. It was difficult but via patience and explaining that I was new and learning, as well as putting my foor down sometimes, For the most part people seem happy to see me and take me at my word when I describe what it will take to fix a given problem. Even the teachers who can't seem to remember to check their cables are more apologetic that they forget, and those that do are quick to point out what they've tried already.

Being in customer service is not what I set out for in life; it ended up being my job because I never felt like I could get a better job. It's toned me down. I used to be rude and bitchy when I called for help. Maybe it's age but I've mellowed; I know how I react to people whoa re unreasonable, so I know that it won't get me anywhere.

The phrase doesn't come up so much in the computer world, but in a retail job I had once, I often had to take a customer's offer to management (they might want to return what they bought, or get some kind of compensation). I can tell you that if you're rude, and someone says 'let me see what I can do' that means, 'no' in slow motion.

All of us who support people with any problem they may have should always remember - without the customer, we don't have jobs. Part of my job is to support clients who have spent many thousands, sometimes millions of dollars with the company I work for. The customer is the most important person for the company. Without them, there would be no company. I think about that every time someone calls for the 10th time with the same question. It doesn't bother me at all if they don't remember the last time I told them. I usually follow up calls with an email containing the same instructions I gave them over the phone.
I don't care if a customer is rude when calling. They paid a lot of money for a system, and it should work correctly. The best way I have found to handle such a client is to say, yes, you are correct, it should work. Let's figure this out together. The session ends up being a learning opportunity for the client and then, they are very happy with me and the company, especially compared to the support they don't get from competitors.
Customer satisfaction is central to a successful company. The customer always deserves our patience and our knowledge. If I cannot resolve an issue fairly quickly, I don't hesitate to get help from my co-workers - we work as a team, we make our customers happy and our company is one of the few tech companies making money these days.

Seven years tech support here, as a rep and as a supervisor. It's interesting that people love to blame the techs for being incompetent, instead of managements for hiring the cheapest people they can find. Streams pays $9 an hour. Most of what I see ads for in the paper now pay $10-$12. Folks, that's what I made when I started out 8 years ago!

I've been out of work since July, since the company decided it was more "efficient" to have folks in New York provide support for employees in Washington state. We provided support 20 x 5, then on call during the weekend, monitored the company network & billing processes with all of five people. Too expensive for them. More profitable to cut our jobs than the management, whose decisions put the company in the toilet.

I've had the CFO of the company scream in my ear at 5:30 because she's worked on a presentation for two hours and was too stupid to save as she worked on it. I've also spent an hour and half helping a salesman learn how to print a tutorial that used frames. Some parts of the job are rewarding, some parts suck.

Dean, it's standard for folks to be "overqualified" for the help desk. That's because the rest of IT thinks we're just end users. It's the worst possible place to be in IT. It brands you as someone who isn't bright enough to spend all your time, staring at screens and making servers behave. So you get it from both ends, customer & peers. It's a losing proposition.

I'd do it again, but given the current job market, it's not going to happen. They want desktop techs who can install XP, even though they advertise for help desk. Being out of it for a year sets you back. You need to get real job skills, something that will enable you to find another job quickly, that pays enough you can afford things like rent, utilities, and food. It's too easy for companies to ship the tech support jobs to India. Companies talk a lot about wanting to provide quality customer service, but they damn sure won't pay to hire the folks who can provide that.

Fine. Funny. Now from a customer's perspective. I am over 70 and these are two things that upset me: 1. The tech guy is somewhere in a country I probably never heard of and when he speaks I am usually unable to understand his English because of heavy accent.
2. The tech guy gets frustrated because the problem is not going away so he falls back on this nugget: better wipe your hard drive clean and reload everything. Call and let me know if you still have a problem.

Heh. I'll just mention to Beth that if she wasn't working with million-dollar customers, and was instead working with end-users who'd think nothing of calling her a lying cunt and threatening to kill her, she might be a little less confident about how easy it is to turn a bad call around.

That said, I always do my best for my customer. I'm good at it. Hell, I'm practically legendary for it. I deal with irate customers better than most. Although there's not much you can do for someone who hurls insults at you and then hangs up, is there? :-)

My goal is to talk about how end-users can help make their own lives easier, now how techs can do their jobs better. That's a separate argument.

And Teri, you're right. I'm doing this gig until I finally finish my bachelor's degree. Then I'll be off to find something else. For now, I enjoy tech support becuse it's very easy for me, and I'm very good at it. ;-)

This reminds me of many, but particularly one very major experience in Tech Support. A bit of background, I had done dial up TS for a very major ISP for a couple of years. By and large the cutomers were excellent and our support actually would go far beyond 'dial up' issues. Debug, sliding comports.... Then I moved to 'customer complaints' for same company. The fun part here is that I take 'ace inhibitors' for high blood pressures. Customers who put pressure on me, lectured me or went off the hook on me just make the 'inhibitors' kick in. I would jst get mellow and start talking like some 'surfer dude', for which I do have a reputation. Then moved in to support for DSL biz customers, ie, static IP, DNS, DNE. And this is where it got good.

I had a staff of six taking calls from these 'biz' customers, each of the staff probably more qualified than I to give support but I had the customer experience. One customer in particular immediately lit into one of my staff, insisting on his supervisor, a call I usually would NOT accept. This one I did. Within thirty words I understood that I would do as I was told and that the customer was driving this issue. I took notes. About half way through our session regarding DNS and pointers the customer left out a very important element and I allowed the broad breath of dead air. I waited. He moved on with his instructions. This escalated to the company VP and had very high visibility. I had cooperated to the fullest with this customer and my VP. Rather than months of free service the customer then demanded, he was offered a refund of his setup fee, which he refused. A difference of hundreds of dollars.

I had provided excellent customer support, as demanded by the customer. And he got exactly what he demanded of me.

HAHAHAHA! Good one Dean! After someone posted a list of sensible advice for TS staffers similar in tone and structure to your original advice to TS callers, you then replied:

> Please don't lecture me on how to
> do my job, or about my attitude.
> I've been doing various forms of
> tech support for about 15 years
> now, and I'm very good at it.
> I'm considered one of the best
> there is at my job.

Hilarious! You're immitating the arrogant and intolerant tone of Jerry's post above in order to make a point about attitudes, right? Good one! All it was missing was the occasional use of ALL CAPS to underscore your points! :-)

Wait... You WERE being sarcastic/ironic, right? Or does advice only flow one way? Hmmm...

Yeah, I'm sure you're were just joking - no one could be THAT hypocritical! You should have added a smiley at the end, in case people thought you were being serious. Nice one! :-)

Arthur

Dean,

I have supported end users in the past, and a lot of them were very rude and yelled at me. So, I do have a good idea of what people go through as far as grumpy end users or customers. I will say that I was able to turn around those types of callers through patience and understanding for all but 3 calls in a 5 year period.
Why? Because I was not condescending to customers. I stayed silent until they got their frustrations out and then just acted like they had not done so. I found it a challenge.
Too many technical support people, and technical people in general, don't have the respect for non-technical people that they should have. End users have their jobs and do them well, they should not be expected to understand and do my job also.
I have noticed that many tech support people have such an aura of superiority over the end user, that the attitude comes across in how they deal with end users, and it is not pretty.
I understand how frustrating it is to be in tech support, truly I do. But, I have also found that it can be very rewarding.
These days I do large enterprise system management stuff, implementations, training, upgrades and some development. I still do support, you can never get away from it, I'm afraid, and I still get crabby people. Perhaps the fact that I'm an old fart of nearly 50 gives me a little more patience and empathy than those in their 20s and 30s :-)

I'm with Fred. I'm always very polite to tech support people, and follow their instructions even if I've already done just that on my own. However, if the first or second thing they suggest after hearing my problem is to use GoBack and/or reformat and start over, then polite Steve goes away real fast. I'm still civilized, but all trust I had in them evaporates. I've had that suggested to me over a dozen times, and, with the exception of a couple of minor problems that sort of faded away on their own, that's never been the right answer.

So if a TS person tells me to do such a thing, I will promptly assume they a) do not know how to solve my problem, and b) do not care enough to try to find out.

Fortunately, the only time I ever have to call tech support is for my wonderful cable modem, since I built my PC myself. Also fortunately, in the 18 months I have had it, the engineers at Comcast have only really screwed it up once. I count this fortunate since I had to make 5 calls back to the tech desk (as well as send about 10 emails) before I finally found someone who would run a tracert instead of shoving me off on someone else (the first fellow I talked to was so unwilling to work with me that when I told him I supposed I would just have to subscribe to DSL since he was unable to help me his response was "I guess you will".) I used to be shy about calling back about problems, but I now realize that there is never any sense in wasting time with an idiot TS person since you can just call back and maybe get one who knows what the hell they are doing.

It's been my experience that tech support is mostly an exercise in futility. There seem to be only a handful of people at any given support center who actually know what they're doing, and good luck getting one of them on the phone.

I cannot recall how many times I've been given troubleshooting suggestions that were either totally irrelevent or just plain wrong.

Nothing makes my day like having a computer problem, calling tech support on MY phone bill, waiting half an hour - or longer - to talk with someone and then realizing I know more than he does.

What people need to remember is that these support centers

1) Are often run by a contracted company and not the actual vendor and

2) Many of them get paid less for a return call on the same 'incident' than a new call for a new problem and

3) Therefore have the explicit objective to take as many new calls as possible and then dispose of them as soon as possible; the last thing they want to do is take the time and effort to seriously and methodically troubleshoot your technical problem.

This is also why so much tech support "advice" includes suggestions to reformat drives and reinstall some or all software. These measures take a long time and force you to get off the phone so they can take (and bill) the next call.

Also, "neutron bomb" measures like drive reformatting and OS reinstallation probably WILL solve most problems, so you won't be calling back (even though, if you think about it, you never did learn what was wrong or how to avoid it in the future).

And now, increasingly, we have the problem of tech support being farmed out to non-English speaking countries. On a recent call, I spoke to Vishnapranyahursadanapol (I think) who seemed like very nice guy - SEEMED, I say, because I literally couldn't understand one thing he said.

Fancy this. Another person in tech support bitching about his job.

Bob Mologna: Yes, I've dealt with Microsoft Tech Support, and it was quite impressive. Fortunately it didn't cost me anything. When you upgrade to Windows ME (Don't start, anyone. Thank you.) you get one call free, and "one call" means until they resolve the issue, even if you have to phone back repeatedly.

One other thing impressed me mightily. I was waiting on hold, listening to the hold music. The song ended, and a pleasant female voice came on saying, "Thank you for calling Microsoft, we apologize for the delay. Wait time is currently running at about 25 minutes, and now let's listen to..." And then I realized it was not a recording. She was live. They had a DEEJAY for the hold music!! Only Microsoft.....

We have an insult generator instead of music on hold.

eg.
$ insult 40
You dreadful overnight bag of apoplectic hobby flux
You ungraceful kitchen cabinet of luetic blind snake sinter
You graceless demitasse of epileptic hake stubble
You unaesthetic haversack of pathological woolly mammoth slabber
You beautiless beer glass of unvirginal anaconda jakes
You troublesome fruit basket of defiled shrike gas
You abhorrent double boiler of peccant turnstone settlings
You distasteful trough of tumorigenic urial elimination
You touching bundle of paralytic bison chips
You afflictive tin can of abandoned hoot owl spurt
You vile cruse of harmful clumber spaniel autacoid
You unengaging creamer of pocky harbor seal sperm
You deplorable canister of contaminated teal dung
You horrifying spatula of arthritic Croton bug spittle
You undesirable mazer of communicable guppy excretion
You plaguing vase of tubercular gray fox extravasation
You sorrowful pocket of wormy mourning dove evacuation
You consuming coffer of tainted catbird voidance
You unendurable crate of toxical phalanger feces
You evil-looking biggin of morbific bat soot
You miasmal coffee cup of toxicant crappie refuse
You lamentable clothespress of ulcerated cocker spaniel relics
You unsightly musette bag of unhealthful ounce husks
You unenjoyable butt of allergic weasel ejaculation
You mephitic dishpan of destructive Belgian manure
You frightful wineskin of consumptive toy terrier shavings
You pitiable tablespoon of neuralgic frog sediment
You heartsickening wicker basket of pathogenic Alsatian vestiges
You ghastly sleeping bag of unhealthy planarian flatulence
You comfortless spoon of teeming flounder egestion
You ungraced portfolio of maculate beluga pee
You crude liqueur glass of adulterous urutu sputum
You uncomfortable gripsack of insalubrious fulmar froth
You blotted bucket of pestilential English springer spaniel excreta
You unsavory hatbox of loose Rhode Island red expectoration
You discomforting can of unassimilable hawk owl salts
You unspeakable boll of chlorotic yellowlegs disgorgement
You ignoble punnet of plagued stump-tailed lizard eructation
You grievous kit bag of beset goldeneye fart
You repulsive grip of podagric woodworm dross

I'm awfully supportive of people who deal with irresponsible and incompetent technicians who do things advise using nuclear weapons to fix minor problems -- i.e. reformatting the HD and reinstalling Windows. I've advised that twice in an entire year.

But I must point people back to my article: my purpose is to explain better strategies for dealing with such problems. If you want to rant about how awful tech support is, then you're missing the point. Do you want to know how to get better results, or not? :-)

I also have to wonder why on Earth am I being lectured about my customer service skills. Not a single one of you would have the slightest idea how good I am, now would you?

I am, in fact, quite good at my job. And I'll stack my customer turnaround abilities against yours any day of the week, Beth! How old do you think I am, anyway, my dear? ;-)

Bottom line, folks: if you want better service, there are much better strategies than being abusive toward people. I'm astounded that anyone feels the need to heep scorn on my head for pointing that out.

The internet is a strange and wonderful place!

Haven't had a chance to read all the posts but if anyone hasn't mentioned www.vendetta.org i'm doing now. Check it out!

Dean; lesson from the scorn heaped upon your head: NEVER point out the obvious. Idiots hate it.
TS, imo, is like life--infinitely varied. The best of it is wonderful, the worst is crap. And yes, yours is damned good advice. :O)

Wow. A few little ole comments I make FOR the customer and everyone gets all up in arms. Some dude thinks a waiter pisses in my soup with regularity and someone thinks if I'm so overqualified why am I calling Tech Support.

Let me let you in on something. I WORK in Tech Support and I have been for 8 years now.

I decided it would be fun to take the side of the customer, as it seemed this thread was just going to be about bashing stupid customers.

I just wanted you all to be aware that for every 1 overqualified Tech Support dude, there are plenty more guys and gals who don't know a thing.

The bottom line is, its your JOB! Do your JOB to the BEST of YOUR ability. The moment you let a rude customer DICTATE your performance level is the moment you wonder why you are still in Tech Support making only 15 bucks an hour. Your BOSS doesn't care if the customer is rude. If rude customer speaks with your BOSS about you he'll begin caring really quickly why the customer wasn't serviced properly. So your response will be "They were RUDE to me!". Yeah, that'll go over real well.

Jerry

Having worked professionally in TS for the past 4 years, I've got to agree mightily with what Dean has said. Being patient and polite with the person you're on the phone with will get you much better support, as well as faster support. That said, it is because of users like Jerry that make me glad that 90% of my time is doing actual hardware work rather than working the phones.

Steve, another company that has a DJ doing the hold music is Novell. Though unless they have changed since the last time I was on hold with them, their music selection wasn't that great.

LOL @ "only 15 bucks an hour..." Jesus, I need to get a new job...

Dean, perhaps the advice to Tech Support was not directed to you personally. I know this is your webpage so it could be taken that way but seeing as how the professor linked to your page these comments are being read by far more people than just you. Perhaps some of them are Tech Support Personel who could use some advice. Do you disagree with the advice that was given? Or do you resent being told something you already know and do?

I'm a 911 Dispatcher. I deal with "customers" who are drunk, angry, injured, mentally deranged and sometime all of the above. I have done this for the past 12 years and make about $17 an hour. I love it. My suggestion to you is to call 1-800-Waa-aaaa.

This was an excellent guide for getting the most out of a tech support call. Thanks for writing it.

I've been doing this stuff for over 5 years and its very true---there's only so long most people can take it. I did training for just under a year and even escaped to NOCC work for 18 months, but 6 months of unemployment forced me, hat in hand, back into tier 1 support.

Its a stressful job. I am probably at that meltdown point now myself, currently taking real estate courses to hoepfully escape the constant stream of angry phone calls. (I don't answer my phone at home either. I am so greatful that I finally know why!)

I wish customers understood what they really run into when they call tech support.

A company that did support for a major web browser used to hire people off the street who they trained to have customers format their hard drives in a variety of situations. I personally believe that is where most of the format stories come from. While sometimes it is the quickest and most thorough solution to an issue, it rarely is an easy implimentation for non-IT end user. (I started in another division where we were trained that trojan horses didn't exist!) Good techs hate shoveling BS and leave, but the companies keep shoveling it to the customers. The techs themselves did not create those situations.

While I am sure some techs still use "format" as their universal cureall, I would guess that most of those people are out of tech support by now---just as most customers today have no inclination to put their coffee cups in the CD drive tray.

How many issues have you seen with Windows ME and even XP? Support techs didn't create those issues. If your OS isn't working properly I can't guarantee anything I have you do will work properly. If your computer isn't working properly and you can't figure it out, do yourself a favor and go to the right support group. You need to work with a computer or OS specialist, not your ISP's cable support group.

In a lot of companies techs get fired if they go outside support boundaries. They get fired if they do things that should be earmarked for other divisions in the company. Techs get fired if their average call time is too high. They have the time to handle the issues they are paid to handle and no time beyond that to help you with your other issues. That doesn't mean we don't know the answer.

Some companies are (or were) better at tech support than others. My current company is either great at hiring or just profiting from the all the unemployed talent. They have the most experienced staff I have worked with, but the company expects us to train ourselves on all new equipment, billing practices, company procedures, databases, etc. We pick up things quickly (especially tech stuff), but we don't receive training materials. We get an email with a link to a billing database and a password. Sometimes. We have found out that we acquired other ISPs only when calls started rolling in from those customers. Twice. We just bite out tongues and do our best.

Sadly, there are obviously many other things on our minds besides what we want to be focused on---helping you.

If we didn't want to help, we wouldn't be working in this tech support. We'd be in collections or something.

I wish all of my customers were clones of John Davies, but to be fair I'm not a Beth Donovan, and I don't think there is one in my department. I wished my company learned from problematic calls like the one you went through Natalie, but most companies don't. They monitor and record the calls, but only for "quality" measurables; Only to confirm that you used your "quality" checklist and ended with "Are you VERY satisfied with the level of support you have recieved today, sir/madam? Well,thank you for being a ____ customer". I could fix 30 people tomorrow, but if I don't give my management listens to my recordings and doesn't hear those measureables I might be out of a job.

The job sucks. We techs aren't perfect. We are stressed out and probably overly sensitive. We appreciate your patience, politeness, and cooperation. I can honestly say I will run through a wall for you when you are.

Your BOSS doesn't care if the customer is rude.

If that's the case, it's time to find another boss. One who cares enough about his employees to insist that they be treated as human beings.

I love dealing with drunk customers. I really do. Since I work Friday and Saturday nights, I get them all the time. If I could, I'd have a policy where they transfer all the drunk customers to me.

By the way, I'm not mad at anyone, I'm just amused that people would presume to lecture me on my job skills. :-)

I do enjoy my job. When I can fix a problem, or teach someone something useful, that's a great feeling.

The single biggest thing companies due to screw up support is paying techs based on the number of calls they handle - unsurprisingly, they have no desire to solve a problem which is going to make more than a few seconds. After all, they're never going to hear from you again whereas their boss is probably making pointed reminders every day about keeping averages up.

Closely related are rigid policies. The absolute worst tech support calls I've had have been with Cox, since the techs are required to walk you through their support flowchart before they are allowed to tell you the problem is on their end. You used to be able to skip that by mentioning an operating system they didn't know about ("OS/2? Let me forward you to level 3") but now you're left with lying about things ("Yes, I rebooted. I have a really fast computer...") so you get to the part where they tell you that 3 computers simultaneously reporting packet loss 3 hops onto their network is probably related to the router which died 2 hours ago and the line is physically disconnected while a technician is swapping in a spare.

It's silly to have to play games like this but the techs don't have a choice - they will be penalized if one of the random management-reviewed calls shows that they didn't follow the official procedure, even in cases where every single customer on your block has called and they know there's no possible way for your connection could work. The tech who mentioned this to me in person claimed that they would also be penalized for explaining *that* policy, too.

I am a well-qualified customer - and a very demanding one. I find dealing with Tech Support people frustrating in the extreme. But I also don't *want* to be a jerk to some poor schmuck just doing his job, so I inevitably find myself saying, "Look,I know this isn't your fault, and it's not really fair for me to be taking it out on you, but I am getting very frustrated."

But computer tech support is *nothing* compared to dealing with PNC Bank (no, not even M$'s). I swear they must train those bastards in perniciousness - there's no other explanation possible! After spending a week trying to solve a problem and being told 4 different things by 4 different people, I was on the verge of actually yelling - not just being curt - at one of their supervisors a couple of weeks back. If I hadn't been in my office at the time, I probably would have.

Dodd, you're handling it just fine. :-) Except for one thing, why are you still one of their customers?

Incompetent tech support should be answered by (a) blaming management for letting incompetents man the phone, and (b) firing the company.

I have never had trouble with the tech support reprentatives, its being on hold for up to an hour that drives me up the wall. After having frustrating times trying to fix your computer the long wait only makes things worse. I can see how some customers might take their frustrations out on the tech support guys. I don't agree with it, but I can see it.

Yeah, it's pretty inexcusable if a company regularly lets people wait on hold for tech support for that long. Although one should remember, sometimes they're swamped for a reason, some unanticipated disaster.

Obviously, customers deserve understanding and sympathy when they've been put out. My only point with the article is to remember: even when dealing with very professional people, you tend to get out what you put in to a relationship, even one as short-term as a tech support call. ;-)

Being a paying customer never gives anyone the right to treat employees like crap. Unfortunately, many people feel that it does. These people can only feel good about themselves when they feel they have an advantage over other people and the only time anyone gives them any attention is when they pay for it. They don't know how ugly thier little power trips are. They actually think other people are impressed. By politely listening, you are performing a social service by giving these social deficients a little crumb of self-esteem.

Very Sad.

keep up the good work. I've been there.

When I was doing ISP tech support, the one thought that always kept me in the game with a difficult caller was the option of ending a conversation (albeit, perhaps my job with it) with "You called me. I did not call you."

I think the "Don't Be Rude" mantra is very important. But quite honestly, I have better things to do with my day than spend an hour going through a tech support script when I've already isolated the fault and want some kind of remedial action. In other words, what about the tiny percentage of people who don't call in until they have a "real" problem -- one that usually they already have isolated?

Being on the other end of the phone in that situation is every bit as frustrating to sit through.

In any regards, it's good advice. Best regards.

Unless you can get bounced right to an upper tier support person, there's not alot you can do unless you are lucky enough to be calling a business support number. Most TS people are required to go through the script much like telemarketers and get in trouble if they don't.

Dean said:

SNIP

* But I must point people back to my
* article: my purpose is to explain
* better strategies for dealing with
* such problems.

Fine! :-) And Mrs. Bubba's purpose was to explain better strategies for dealing with problem customers. Why did you react so negatively? Calling Mrs. Bubba's post a "lecture" was a bit over the top - especially as it's clear his/her post was modelled after yours in structure and tone. Sounds like you think others should modify their behaviour, but not you. Or maybe you just don't like accepting advice, mistaking it for criticism.

* I also have to wonder why on Earth am
* I being lectured about my customer
* service skills.

There's that word again - "lecture". Relax! How come when you post a long list of advice it's just chummy advice for the betterment of all. And when someone else does it, it's a "lecture" that you request not to happen again?

* Not a single one of
* you would have the slightest idea how
* good I am, now would you?

So? You don't have the slightest idea what any of us are like as TS callers, do you? Did you think Mrs. Bubba's post was directed at you personally? How foolish! After all - was your original post directed at Mrs. Bubba personally? Or me? No? Right! Do you get it yet?

SNIP

* Bottom line, folks: if you want better
* service, there are much better strategies
* than being abusive toward people.

Bottom line, Dean. If you want a better rep for your profession, be better prepared to accept advice, even if it's stuff you already know. At least give the ILLUSION that you know how to listen. Mrs. Bubba's post was one of the few constructive, non-me-too posts you got at that stage - and you pounced on it. It made you look insecure, and insincere.

* I'm
* astounded that anyone feels the need to
* heep scorn on my head for pointing that out.

Speaking for myself, I LOVED your original post - but it's all advice I already follow as a TS caller, for all the reasons you outline. Despite this, it didn't strike me as being a "lecture", just a bunch of great advice. Why can't you accept Mrs. Bubba's post as being the same? Sure, his/her immitation of your structure and tone was a bit cheeky, but otherwise it was all good. Or do you actually disagree with any of it?

I didn't laugh at you until you rejected Mrs. Bubba's post. And I really was hoping you were being sarcastic. I see now that you weren't. Oh well.

* The internet is a strange and wonderful place!

Yeah! People contradict you on your own web page! :-)

SNIP

* By the way, I'm not mad at anyone, I'm just
* amused that people would presume to lecture
* me on my job skills. :-)

Your reply to Mrs. Bubba didn't sound amused...

Healer, heal thyself. :-)

Arthur

Dean,

You are absolutely correct. I have always tried to treat CS people with as much politeness as I can muster. Even when brimming with anger and frustration, and wanting to take the monitor and throw it through the nearest window, its best to adopt the attitude you would take if you were making your complaint IN PERSON to Andre "the Giant".

I doubt you would rant and rave, cuss and scream at Andre if he were standing right in your face. (that is unless you are a 5 foot tall, 90 lb., 80 year old women like my grandmother who never shrinks from giving all her grandsons fits).

One other thing that works is to ask for the supervisor's email address (and the tech's email address) so you can send an appreciation email to their boss (with a copy to them) after the call is finished. This has always gotten me the highest level of courtesy and support (even if I couldn't get the addresses.)

I usually say something like, "I am really upset about _______ right now, but invariably I calm down and want to thank those who help me. Could I get your supervisors email address so I can send a thank you note once I calm down."

This also helps me remind myself that I need to act like a civilized human being.

When I call in for help for tech support, my hope is to not only have whatever problem I'm calling for addressed, but also to learn something. Hopefully, when I've hung up, I know a bit more about my system than I did before and am a slightly more intelligent user. I'm polite, for this reason, and also because it's the right thing to do.

However, some of these people are brain-dead Bozos. How often have I had to call in something twice or more, and hear the tech say something like, "Oh, why did he tell you that? That has nothing to do with the problem. It was probably time to go to lunch."

Good behavior is a two-way street, and when it comes down to it, whether a tech is overqualified, overworked, disgruntled, or headed to lunch, the phrase "the customer is always right" holds. And in this case the customer is at the tech's mercy, and too often, they seem to know it.

Laurie K.

I just don't call anymore. 99% of the time, somebody else has had your exact problem, and you can find your solution via Google long before you can even get a tech support rep on the phone. If I'm calling tech support, its because I've determined that the product is dead, and I'm looking for warrenty remediation. I've been surprised in the past how quickly TS agreed that my modem was dead, or my router was dead. After reading this thread, I think I understand. I gave them an easy way to complete the call - send me new product - and they did.

I used to work for MS Tech Support in another country. When you called, an outsourced company answered the phone and did tbe billing for the call and then transferred it to TS. You had to have a billing credit to talk to TS, although it would be waived if it was a known bug (or sometimes if it was a quick easy problem and you were nice - see it pays to be nice)

Once transferred to TS, the average waiting time was around 60 minutes and about 10-15% of all calls were wrongly routed by the outsourced company to the wrong area of TS, that is people not trained in that area, so I couldn't help you and would have to aplogise and could do 2 things.

1) put you back in the queue for that area of suppport where you would now be at the end of that queue and have another hours wait....

2) put you on hold and wander around looking for a TS person free to help you and transfer you directly.

Which do you think the nasty customers got all the time and the nice customers only some of the time???

And MS was really good supporting TS people against rude customers. If you swore at us, we would refer it to a supervisor, who would tell you that while she understood you were upset, language like that would not be tolerated and she would only transfer the call back to TS (another operator) if you promised not to swear and she told them that the TS person would hang up on them with her blessing if the customer swore again.

She said customer service was there to help people fix technical problems but not to be sworn at and this was all with full MS backing. She said they were welcome to call back anytime if they could manage not to swear.

Now this didn't happen every time a customer got angry, but if you called me a cunt, well...

Also unofficially, if you were a real dick and ranting on, we'd press the mute button and put you on loudspeaker so our colleagues could hear you and laugh at you and say nasty things about you.

Now this may offend those "customer is always right" people, but in the real world, if you treat us like shit, then you will be treated like shit.

We often had to put people on hold while we searched databases, or escalated the call to more knowledage staff. That just meant we went and asked them the tough ones. This could take half an hour, cuz they might have other people asking them and generally calling people back was frowned upon.

So if you were a dickhead, then you'd go on hold while I went back to my network Doom or Quake game with everyone else in TS.

I had one dickhead once who was some senior person in some company and he had been waiting 60 minutes to be answered and he was sent to the wrong area. I apologised, but told him I couldn't fix his problem as I had no training in that product and would have to put him back in the queue for the right area. He told me that not only was I not going to do that, I was going to fix HIS problem then and there and personally, not anyone else. He said again, very rudely, You will do exactly what I tell you to do, when somehow my hand accidentally brushed the hang up button... oh dear, FUCKWIT!...

yes I know I have a bad attitude, but I really don't care. I don't work in TS anymore and I was nice to most people, but not to pricks like him.

Dean:

Not only were your original thoughts quite well informed, the comments following were very entertaining. I'm reminded of my brief career in the Airlines, where dealing with custome complaints personally was a daily fare. No telephone to separate the CSR from the customer, just a CRT and not quite enought counter realestate to spread out your flight coupon to bolster your emotional tirade.

Having been an observer of Customer Service in Orlando (I was in charge of training for the Airline), I recall the evening when my favorite misconnect desk agent was at her station. This was a girl whose job it was, it seemed, to get yelled at every two minutes, followed by the next passenger, who was destined to yell at her. Our girl was one smooth operator, never loosing her cool, always crisp, efficient and helpful. She had memorized, I think, the departure schedules of all of the other airlines with stations in Orlando, as well as the phone numbers of the managers of customer service at those airlines.

One evening as I was returning from a trip out-of-town to one of our other facilities, I observed the line at her counter, quite long, on an evening where weather had caused a number of delays. A tired gentleman stepped up and began yelling his plight to her. She calmly listened to him and then said, "Sir, it's nine o'clock, there are two more scheduled flights out of this airport tonight, and at the moment I am the only person in this airport who can help you. And I will, as soon as you calm down." Then she leaned slightly to her left and yelled, "NEXT!"

After a few minutes with his jaw on the floor, it became clear to him that she would not get to him while he was out of line. He meekly got his bags and proceeded to the end of the line. When it was finally his turn, she had already provided an alternative airline and seat for him. She directed him towards the appropriate gat and said, "Have a nice flight, sir" What professionalism.

Other dangerous places for insults:

Photo labs BEFORE your film is processed.
Towards Traffic Cops BEFORE you drive away.
Towards Judges while in court.

As to the original problem: I've been using Macs for about nine years, and tech service just doesnt seem necessary to me for some reason...

Regards,

Rich

i would like to say something about some annoying guy up at the top of these posts i saw
i wont say a name :D
anyway the ONE and MOST anoying thing about any call i get is when the customer says... "i HAVE been working with computers for 350,000 years and i have got (insert long list of meaningless qualifications here) if it was that simple i would know how to fix it" blah blah blah
even though through the 5 minutes or so priar i have noticed settings completely wrong 30mb temprorary internet folders, customer doesnt know where control panel is etc etc etc
IF YOUR SO GOD DAMN SMART FIX IT YOURSELF AND DONT MOAN AT ME ABOUT TELLING U THINGS THAT U THINK AR OBVIOUS...

and also a quick thing about people not liking to be on the phone for 30 mins while the tech does endless amouts of checks....
no end of people get mad at me that its taking an hour to sort out a problem where they cant remember what the error was..
it happened 3 weeks ago and has been happening every 5 minutes exept hasent happened while im on the phone for an hour
do you people have any idea how many options there are on a computer and how many thousands of different combinations of options can cause how many thousands of errors..
and when the error message was "something about hard disk or something compatability or internet or sommet i dont know im not technical"
and in my head there are like 20,000 error messages floating around and about 30,000 different settings that could have caused these error messages in 1 or more of a few million different combinations
COMPUTERS ARE COMPLICATED ITS NOT A SODDING TELEVISION GET A GRIB AND BUY AN APPLE MAC IF U DONT KNOW HOW TO USE A MICROWAVE!!!!!
P.S. dont moan when the apple mac u just bought is a pile of poo and does about half what your pc does

OMG I worked in a call center for a few years and most the people I talk with were nice. Yes the few some time's out weigh the many and the few you would tell them their computer needs water just like a car. But I have worked a few people who are just as bad and shouldn't being helping anyone because A: they don't know what their talking about or B:Their just plain ass hole. The way I looked at it after a bad day is I could have a job were I didn't get to sit on my ass all day making ok money and if that didn't work I would drink. I was their to help people who not know what their doing. About the "I HAVE been working with computers for 350,000 years and i have got (insert long list of meaningless qualifications here) if it was that simple i would know how to fix it" blah blah blah"
BS I been doing networking for years and have to deal with ISP all the time, most of the time you get someone who knows what their doing but about 1 time a week I get a ahole who thinks he knows everything and start off with your wrong so do it this or else. I could give a ton of examples but this form is old and I got what I need of my chest. :)

What I have to say is that most people call tech support for a product and the reason for the call is completely out of the product's scope of warranty support.
As far as ranting out bad qualities of a company and the company's product......stop wasting your breath. I am not employed by the company I take calls for. I work for an outsource and my outsource is pretty much one of the most expensive call centers. People donot realize that it is very expensive to have calls taken. I will fix your problem quickly (Yes, everything on my end that needs to willl be fixed) or redirect you appropriately if you're out of scope, you've already cost the company enough money. As far as the long stories and dis satisfaction, I will stop you in the middle as soon as you breathe for air...make sure everything is technically / verbally verified on my end (in case the company is auditing) and push some reference numbers for the call, my company alias and id, and my closing script.

Sometimes they will try their third party / or out of scope issue after wanting me to stay on the line and I will clearly let them know my end of support cannot go any further. I will not go above and beyond what I need to support because that only hurts people who actually have in scope of warranty issues.

Sometimes they go, "But Wait...." but that is usually maybe 2 minutes at the most more I have to talk to them and i am in a loop of giving my closing again. Occasionally I will have to try to close the call up to 5 times on someone. Eventually they just go with it, I think after I keep trying to close the call they get the picture.