Forget the Freemasons, forget the Illuminati, forget the Learned Elders of Zion! I have uncovered a far more insidious cabal bent on world domination— the Canadians !
That’s right our friendly “allies” north of the border.
First they lull us into complacency with their politeness and their nationalized health care. Then they slowly subdue us with their higher alcohol beer so we don't notice their continued hegemony over Hollywood. (Are you listening Mike Myers?)
Haven’t heard about this before? Well no wonder, who’s going to report it? Peter Jennings? Morley Safer? Ashleigh Banfield? Canucks one and all!
We are facing an enemy on our border ready to bear down and destroy our way of life with their ideas of civility and social democracy. We who live in the Detroit area are most vulnerable. For years they have been beaming their government supported, limited commercial interruption television and radio signals at us. Our innocent children are daily assaulted by the smiling benign blandness of Mr. Dressup, The Friendly Giant and The Polka Dot Door. Programs, I might add, without merchandise tie-ins! This is an assault on the very nature of the free enterprise system!
We must take preemptive action! Make them pay for their all-nude dance bars, their 19-year-old drinking age and casinos that don’t report your winnings to the IRS. (Of course they pay out in Canadian funds so that’s like winning Monopoly money, but the principle remains the same!)
I recommend we hit them when they are most vulnerable—Saturday night at 8’Oclock (8:30 in Newfoundland). That’s when all Canadians tune into the same program to listen to the propaganda speeches of their undisputed leader—Don Cherry.
We must act decisively, so we don’t repeat the failures of the War of 1812. Detroit must not fall again! Ask yourself: Do you want your children growing up understanding the metric system? I think not!
Arise America and smash the Canadian Conspiracy/ Le conspiracy Canadian!
You know, I've read that almost 90% of their population is now clustered within 100 miles of the American border. When will we begin to take The Canadian Problem seriously?
WAKE UP AMERICA!
I'm really concerned...
Did you notice that there was hardly any French on that site? They're breaking their own LAWS!!
OH GOD! I hope they aren't planning to pawn Montreal off on us!
Damn Canadian Scum!
Where is Alan Alda when you need him? We need a Militia and John Candy (damn he's dead)...
We need to plan and organize!!!!!
In the movie "The President's Analyst," James Coburn, as the title character, is the target of every sinister spy agency in the world. The would-be kidnappers kill each other off, and he's claimed by the last survivors -- the Canadians.
And here I always thought it was a comedy.
Why call it a rooster when you can say "cock":
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/nm/20021025/od_uk_nm/oukoe_food_canada_chicken&e=5
Pauly, dude, yer way behind the times.
Forget about the Canuks, it's the Aussies we have to worry about these days!
Is it true that if you're both Canadian and a Freemason, you're automatically issued a seat on the board of a Fortune 500 company?
I'm just saying I've heard it, is all.
As a patriotic American, I just want to warn Canadians that we will FIGHT their evil plans wherever we find them!! And we WILL prevail!
(But, if we don't, I personally could be very helpful to our new Canadian masters in rooting out treason and sedition to our New Order of the Maple Leaf. I'm just sayin', that's all. E-mail me, quietly.... just in case. And send me an armband.)
AMERICA AND OUR IRON WILL SHALL TRIUMPH!! etc. etc.
I was just drinking a can of "Canada Dry" when I noticed something *very* disturbing.
The logo has the words "Canada Dry" emblazoned not just on a map of Canada, but on ALL OF NORTH AMERICA! With a little crown added, fer gosh sakes.
Surely this exposes what they have in store for us!
Hello,How are you, eh?
I have read your article and I am Canadian and I would just like to say that there is no logical basis for your concern. I am sorry if you feel we are a threat, but I can truly assure you that we mean you no harm Sirs and Madams. But please if you feel our way is wrong I would greatly appreciate any information on how to make our invasion more subtle. Thank you so much for your time, I know your so busy with politics and suppressing certain governmental things that I'll just let you go on with your day.
Have a good one, Yours Truly
Cassandra
hahaha! you americans are so darned stupid, I can't even tell if this page is serious or a joke. Every day, I'm more amused with your stupidity.
This is what happens with people who's entire knowledge of the history of the world comes from movies such as independence day, or rocky, and the word 'book' is as obscure for you as the word 'skinny'. (if you don't know what obscure means, try the dictionary, it's a fat book that says 'dictionary' on top)
Don't worry, we'll never invade you, but please, keep posting messages on this page and I'll check it everytime I want to feel a little bit smarter. (if you didn't understand the last joke, it's ok)
I'm Canadian and I don't think much of anyone would feel the need to invade your strange, strange, yet normal(by your standards) country.
On the other hand, it would be nice to own...New York, wouldn't it?